


When I Needed You the Most

by GreenEyedCajun



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Historical, LGBTQ Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25410457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenEyedCajun/pseuds/GreenEyedCajun
Summary: An AU tale of Anne Lister. Anne finds herself in modern society and in the presence of Charlotte Calhoun. Anne and Charlotte help one another in a time when they need someone the most.Story is set in the fictional town of Whittington. Reader's choice of location either UK or US.I do not own any rights of anything related to Anne Lister, diary entries, crypthand or Shibden Hall.
Relationships: Anne Lister (1791-1840)/Other(s)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 51





	1. All Saints Day

**Author's Note:**

> Story is set in the fictional town of Whittington. Reader's choice of location either UK or US.  
> I do not own any rights of anything related to Anne Lister or Shibden Hall.  
> Anything related to diary/journal entries or crypthand may be fictional and not pertain to exact entries for timeline sake.

It was a chilly morning, the sun providing warmth with a rather calm wind only making itself known when needed. The park was filled with the sound of children laughing and running off their sugar high from trick-or-treating the night before. Charlotte sat on a bench, her pen tapping the empty pages of her journal. She hated writer's block. She felt the park would be a great place of inspiration, and escape but she felt herself easily distracted. Failing to hold back her emotions, hot tears fell on her face causing Charlotte to quickly brush them away before anyone took notice. Today was the day, the love of her life was marrying someone else. _How the hell could she get married? How? What did she do wrong that would drive her to not just anyone, but to a man?_ She couldn't rid herself of the nausea in her stomach and the pain in her heart. Shaking her head she poorly tried to bring her attention back to her story only for the wind to begin to pick up. Grabbing a hair tie, she pulled her curly brown hair up into a pony tail and looked back down at the pages calling out to be filled. Slowly, letters appeared on the paper, transforming into words. Filled with frustration, Charlotte scratched them out roughly, tore the paper out balled it up and tossed it out as far as she could throw. If there were no children around she would scream "Fuck" as loud as possible. She couldn't think straight with children all around and anticipating the dread of hearing the church bells down the road that would be heard later in the day. Taking a deep breath, she stood up and fetched the ball of paper that she tossed.

“Ex...excuse me..”

Charlotte heard a scared voice and looked up. Staring back at her was a woman with dark hair tied in a bun, a black dress with a black coat. She was holding a leather bound book, and a cane with a look of fear on her pale face. Alarmed, Charlotte walked over to her.

“Are you okay?” Charlotte asked.

“Whe..where am I?” her voice shaking.

Charlotte noticed an English accent but curiosity took a backseat in the moment.

“You're in Whittington. Are you okay? Can I call you a cab...an ambulance?”

“A what? Whittington? I..I don't know where I am.”

Charlotte raised a gentle hand towards her

“Okay, okay just take a moment and breathe.”

Noticing the outfit again, she assumed she may have had too much to drink at a Halloween party.

“Where were you last?”

“I was home, in my office. I..I remember being quite tired and I believe I fell asleep there...and...and I woke up under that tree over there” She responded pointing to the oak tree.

Charlotte nodded listening to her and grabbed her phone.

“Alright, okay, well do you know anyone I can call to come get you?”

Anne looked at her quizzically.

“Call? What..what are you saying? What is that box in your hand?”

Charlotte looked up at her, beginning to feel uncomfortable, she eyed around her to see if anyone was available to help. Everyone was preoccupied with their children. She should have never gone after the piece of paper.

“What is your name?” she asked. Praying she could at least answer that question.

“Anne..Anne Lister.” she responded.

Charlotte nodded, then her eyes grew wide at the familiarity of the name and looked at her face.

“Why on earth are you wearing trousers? In public of all places, are you trying to get into trouble?” Anne demanded before there was any response.

Now it was Charlotte who had a moment of confusion.

“Anne... Ms. Lister, I am sorry if this offends you, but have you been drinking?”

“No! I have not! I just...I...” Anne bit her lip and began to breathe harder.

“I just need to get home to Shibden. Can you take me there?”

Before Charlotte could answer, her phone began to ring. Anne practically jumped back, startled by the noise from the box in the other woman's hand.

“What is that sound?” she asked.

Charlotte quickly answered. “Hello? No, no I'm not. I'm at the park.. actually I could use your help.”

Unsure of what was happening, Anne looked down and without thinking opened her diary to look at the last thing she wrote. It was dated October 1831. She was writing about her travels to London which she meant to put in her travel journal. Charlotte glanced down at the diary and her eyes widened.

“Listen, Hannah let me call you back..”

Charlotte rushed off the phone. No. No it couldn't be possible. There was no way her eyes saw Crypthand. Her mind was playing tricks on her.

“Ms. Lister, what year is it?” she asked.

“Pardon?” Anne responded, looking up from her diary and quickly shutting it.

“What year is it?” Charlotte repeated the question.

“1831, why?”

Charlotte took in a sharp breath. This could not be happening. This is some sort of joke, a prank. It was without a doubt impossible for this to ever occur.

“Anne Lister. Shibden. Crypthand. 1831. Cane.” Charlotte whispered under her breath.

Anne noticed the look on her face.

“Are you all right, miss?” she asked.

Charlotte shook her head.

“We both need to sit down.” Charlotte responded.

Together they walked to the bench where Charlotte was previously sitting. She picked up her journal and made room for Anne.

“Anne..Ms. Lister. I am not sure what is happening. You said..you live at Shibden? And it is 1831?”

“Yes, is there something you're not comprehending?”

Shaking her head, Charlotte looked her in the eyes and reached for her hand.

“We are not near Shibden...and I don't know how this has happened, but it hasn't been 1831 in nearly 200 years. It is currently 2020.”

Anne didn't say anything. There was no way to digest what she just heard. Charlotte reached for her bottle of water, unscrewed the lid and handed it to her.

“Here, have some water.”

Anne looked at it the odd container that made a crackling sound when held. Hesitantly she took a sip. It was water, cold water. She took a few more sips and breathed deep. Surely she must be dreaming. This was by far a dream of most oddity and she would wake any minute.

“Two..thousand...twenty?” Anne said. Charlotte nodded.

“How is that even remotely possible? You're wearing trousers! You...you have that box that makes noise. I don't understand.” Anne rambled.

Charlotte noticed Anne beginning to hyperventilate and squeezed her hand.

“Listen, we need to get you inside somewhere, I live right down the road if you wish to come with me. I can't leave you here alone.”

Anne nodded and began to get up.

Charlotte began to help her up but Anne waved her off. She was the one to offer a hand, not the other way around. She stood up with Charlotte and looked around. Charlotte put her arm around her. Anne let her. Just this once.

“Just breathe. We will figure everything out and find a way to get you home. I'll help you.”

A faint but grateful smile peaked out.

“Thank you, sincerely.” Anne responded.

“My pleasure. I'm Charlotte...by the way. Charlotte Calhoun. I don't know if I mentioned that earlier or not.”

“I honestly can't say whether you did or not. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Calhoun.” Anne responded gratefully.

“It's Ms. and you can call me Charlotte.” she answered.


	2. Voting and Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte tries to make Anne's transition to modern society as smooth as possible, with a few hiccups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything related to Anne Lister or Gentleman Jack.

Charlotte reached for her keys and unlocked the front door, opening it and letting Anne in first before turning on the light in the entrance way. Anne jumped and turned back towards the door.

“Woah! That's just the light! It's a light...instead of candles.” Charlotte said feeling like a fool for a slight moment for freaking her out.

“A light?” Anne commented, looking up at the illuminated dome above her head.

“Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Tell me, how does it work?” she asked.

“Yes, when you think about it, it is fascinating. Umm..it takes electricity, wires, a bulb and such. It's been around for over a hundred years. Electricity causes lights to turn on, fans to run on their own, ovens to bake...”she stopped realizing she was getting ahead of herself.

How do you explain everyday appliances and necessities to someone who knows absolutely nothing about this but will certainly have a peaked interest no doubt. Hell, this woman once dissected a baby!

“How about we just come inside, I'll make us a pot of tea.” Charlotte continued, leading Anne to where the couch was.

Anne sat down and looked around. Fear and astonishment all rolled together. It was much smaller than what she was used to. There was not a servant in sight.

Charlotte quickly went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. She leaned against the sink and took a deep breath.

“This can't be real.” she thought to herself.

Suddenly, Anne appeared in the kitchen.

“Can I help you with anything?” she asked with a concerned tone.

“No..no I've got it, really it's nothing.” Charlotte responded.

“Look, I know this is a whole different world for you, literally. There will be a lot of explanations to just about everything you see or do. I will do my best to help answer them. I know you're a curious one and you never stop going.”

Anne nodded and then looked at her.

“How do you know?” her question raising the obvious curiosity.

“I just..I can tell with people. That's all.” Charlotte answered, dodging from spilling everything out about how she knows who Anne Lister is, has devoured her diary entries and has admired the woman for quite some time and that she is far from being the only one.

The kettle whistled and Charlotte grabbed two tea cups and prepared their drinks. She handed Anne hers and escorted her back to the couch.

Together they sat, and each took a few sips.

“Do you care for any honey or anything else in your tea? Are you hungry?” Charlotte asked.

Anne shook her head.

“No, thank you. This is perfect.” she answered.

They sat quiet for a few minutes before Anne spoke up.

“I don't know how I got here or why I'm even here.”

Charlotte set down her cup and looked at her.

“I don't either, I wish I did but I don't. I will help you though. I'm not sure what I can do but I'll be here. You can count on that.”

Anne gave a small smile and continued to look around.

“This truly is fascinating. It's warm inside and there is no fire going.”

Charlotte gave a small laugh.

“Yes, it is called a heater. The inside of the home is heated and can also be cooled in the hot months.”

Anne laughed with her.

“Oh that it utter luxury!”

Charlotte nodded “Yes, it is. It's funny it's not something I really think about because it's always been there in a way.”

Anne put her cup down and turned her body facing Charlotte. She was feeling strangely comfortable with this woman. Perhaps it was the tea and the warmth that allowed her to relax her shoulders.

“So, Charlotte, tell me about yourself. It might do a great deal if I know a little bit about the one offering her help.” she said with a genuine smile.

It was the same smile Charlotte knew from the painting. That perfectly beautiful smile.

“Well, I am 32 years old. I am a published writer. I have two books in a series published so far and am working on the third installment. I have lived here in Whittington all of my life though I have traveled to London, New York and Paris. Paris begin my favorite.”

“Ah Je t'aime, Paris!” Anne responded.

Charlotte grinned like a fool. Was she really giving her life story to _the_ Anne Lister?

“Moi aussi.” she said in agreement.

“I enjoy taking trips, being adventurous, spending time with my friends, having a drink...” she stopped almost embarrassed.

“Sorry, that is probably boring to you.” she said.

“Oh not at all!” Anne said with a bit of enthusiasm.

“Tell me more. Do you have a companion? Someone to marry?”

Charlotte took in a sharp breath and looked the other way. Her fingers fumbled for her cup of tea.

“Uh..no.” she said clearing her throat.

“No, I currently am not dating or...promised to anyone as you may call it. My umm...my ex she uh..thought it best that we part ways and she parted her way into the arms of a man with enough money to buy this whole town.”

“I'm sorry did you say 'she'?” Anne asked, in a tone of extreme caution.

Charlotte took a sip of tea then set it down.

“Yes. We need something stronger than this.”

Charlotte stood up.

“Would you care for a glass of whiskey? It's not late, but it is after 5.”

She didn't wait for a response. Charlotte darted into the kitchen and to her bar area and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. All she could do was shake her head when she realized it was a bottle of Gentleman Jack. She grabbed two glasses, threw a few cubes in each and then began to pour the caramel brown liquid into each.

A few minutes later Charlotte returned and handed Anne her glass before taking a seat.

Anne eyed Charlotte, not saying a word. Something was not right. Charlotte looked back at Anne, then after a moment of silence she raised her glass and began to speak.

“A toast to Honesty?” she proposed.

Anne nodded.

“To honesty....I think.”

Their glasses clinked and each took a sip. The slight burn was surprisingly welcomed.

“Anne,..” she began.

How much does she tell her? Should she go so far as letting her know the impact Anne has made on modern society? The crypthand? No, no this is all too much too soon. Would this alter history and change the present outcome? Questions and red flags were raised all too loudly. Just the facts, nothing to do with Anne.

“....There has been many..many changes in society since you were ali...since your time. As you noticed, this house alone has different amenities than what you're used to. Women can not just wear trousers, but we can even vote..”

Anne stopped her.

“Vote? Are you serious? Women can finally vote?” she questioned laughing with a huge smile of relief on her face.

“That is one of the many things I would hope would be possible. I take it though, not in my lifetime?”

Charlotte shook her head.

“No. But pretty close. Also, along with being able to vote. In most countries, women and men can marry who they love...be it whichever sex they are attracted to. My ex was..is a woman.” she stopped there to give Anne time to process this news.

Anne didn't say anything at first. She put the glass to her lips and took another sip.

“That is..” she began, her voice cracking with a mixture of fear, relief, and joy.  
“That is the most beautiful thing I believe I have ever heard in my entire life. To be...to be umm..” she bit her lip. Damn the emotions getting the best of her.

Charlotte took her hand.

“I understand. It is okay to be yourself, to dress..”

Charlotte moved her eyes to Anne's clothing.

“..and act how you like..” she looked back into Anne's eyes, holding her gaze to say that she knows.

“..and to marry who you truly love. Sure there can still be judgments but that doesn't stop anyone. Individuality is celebrated! Love wins, Anne.”

Anne set down her glass and cleared her throat, then looked back at Charlotte.

“Love wins.” she repeated.

Wiping her eyes she held on to Charlotte's hand.

“You and I have something in common then.”

Charlotte nodded her head.

“We sure do, and it is wonderful!”

They both smiled at each other. Charlotte was about to continue when the sound of church bells began to ring. Her eyes grew wide with panic. Quickly Charlotte jumped up and ran outside. Grabbing her chest she saw down the road the love of her life come out of the church with her husband. She wanted to scream but nothing came out. The pain paralyzed her momentarily. There was no going back to what once was. Their fate was sealed. She couldn't take her eyes off of the couple, swearing she saw the woman look up and see her from the distance.

The feeling of a hand on her shoulder jolted her back. Turning her head she saw Anne. She didn't have to explain anything. The look on Anne's face told her she completely understood the pain of loss and betrayal.

“Makes you want to go off to a far away place and scream at the top of your lungs. To force out all of the anguish and hate. To be heard.” Anne said quietly.

Charlotte swallowed hard and turned towards her.

“How did you get through it?”

Anne eyed her, assuming their conversation gave away the fact that she had loved and lost.

“Time....time and letting myself escape in my writing and travels. I had to mourn her, but I have to resurrect myself so I could continue to live. It's not easy but it is certainly necessary. Life will come with pain and disappointment but I hope that I rise above it...as best I can anyways.”

Charlotte placed her hand on top Anne's.

“Thank you. I..”

Anne stopped her.

“It's going to be okay. Better than okay even. Allow yourself to have time and give yourself grace.”

Letting out a shaky breath Charlotte nodded her head.

“How about we go back in? I'm sure you've got to be hungry. I can order a pizza.”

The look of utter confusion on Anne's face was priceless that Charlotte could not help but let out a laugh.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry it's not funny. It's just...” Charlotte smiled, letting her laughter settle.

“You can order a pizza...a baked pie that has cheese, tomato sauce and..just trust me.”

Anne smiled

“This is turning into quite the trip. Electricity, voting, women marrying women, and pizza!”

Together they both let out a laugh as they walked back inside the house.

“I'll go ahead and make a phone call to order the pizza.” Charlotte began, holding up her phone to show Anne what she meant.

“Would you care to have a bath?” she asked.

“I would love one! It couldn't be any different.” Anne responded.

Charlotte put the phone down and bit her lip. This could very well freak the woman out. She escorted her to the bathroom.

“Turning on a light..” she said, not to startle her.

Anne walked in, her eyes widened and jaw about dropped when she saw the Jacuzzi tub, toilet and sink.

“Alright, taking this slowly. Sink. One knob turns on the cold water, the other turns on the hot. They can both be on to a comfortable temperature.”

Charlotte turned on both taps to show her.

“Toilet. You do your business, there is toilet paper to finish up and this little handle will flush it away. There will be a bit of noise but it is quick.”

She walked over to the tub.

“The tub is like the sink with the knobs and temperature control. I have shampoo, conditioner, body wash which is like soap but in liquid form. You can take as long as you need.”

Anne nodded and continued to look around.

“Alright...”

“It is easy and I promise once you've experienced this you won't want anything else. I'll get you a change of clothes. If you need anything just say something.” Charlotte responded grabbing a large white fluffy towel, placing it by the tub.

Anne turned on the water to fill the tub. She stayed silent, fascinated.

Charlotte watched her for a moment, then walked out leaving a crack in the door. She went to grab her phone and began to place her order. While on the phone she noticed Anne's diary.

“No, I can't.” she whispered to herself.

She had her own copies, but this was the real thing. Unedited and as of right now unseen by anyone else but Anne herself. Charlotte walked over and brushed her hand on the leather, then pulled away. It wasn't right. She walked away and finished the order then went to get Anne a change of clothes. Would she be okay with lounge wear? She grabbed a pair of boxers, flannel pants, t-shirt and socks. She began to walk out the door then stopped herself. Everything in her hands once belonged to her ex. Taking a deep breath she forced herself to continue moving forward. Literally and figuratively.

She knocked on the bathroom door.

“Anne, I have clothes for you, I'm just going to place them on the other side of this door.” she said as she placed them inside the bathroom.

“Thank you.” she heard her respond.

While Anne bathed the pizza arrived. Charlotte grabbed the plates and a bottle of wine. The table or the couch? Why did she over think the simplest of things? Her thoughts were interrupted when Anne walked out. Charlotte looked up and took in a sharp breath. She was very attractive.

“I don't think I have ever had a more enjoyable bath. I didn't want to get out! When the water got a bit cold I just turned on the hot! Isn't that remarkable? To end it with a warm towel and this wardrobe. It looks odd but it is sure comfortable.”

They both laughed together and Charlotte handed her a glass of red wine.

“Well, I'm glad that you have found something you enjoy.” Charlotte responded.

Anne looked at the pizza and grinned.

“That smells delicious!” she exclaimed.

“Oh, help yourself!” Charlotte responded, handing her a plate.

She followed Anne to the table and was surprised when Anne pulled her chair out for her. They sat and chatted over pizza which disappeared rapidly, as did the bottle of wine. Anne told her about life at Shibden, how she would love to transform it into looking like something other than a drabby farm. They discussed her travels so far and the dreams she has of places she would like to visit. Talked about old flames. She told her about her sister Marian, and her brother that passed away. They discussed how far women in particularly have come. Charlotte ate up everything that Anne said. She had a way of telling you even the most simplest detail and making it sound so delicious. Anne, likewise was fascinated with everything Charlotte had to tell or even explain to her. They laughed a lot. It was as if they had always known each other. For Charlotte it was partly true.

It was near 11 at night when they realized the time. Charlotte grabbed the plates. Anne offered to get the glasses and the two bottles of wine that they almost finished together.

“I am going to go have a quick bath. Are you going to be okay?” Charlotte asked.

Anne nodded her head.

“I'll be fine, thank you. It looks like this bottle has one glass of wine left, would you like to have it with your bath?” she asked.

Charlotte couldn't remember a time someone asked her something so thoughtful and beautiful.

“Yes, I would love that. Thank you.” she responded with a smile.

Anne poured the last of the wine into a glass and handed it to her. Charlotte took it and went off to the bathroom.

Anne went back to the couch and grabbed a pen that Charlotte had shown her earlier in the day. She began to write in crypthand, in awe that the ink didn't run out and made writing so much easier and enjoyable.

Charlotte lay in the tub of hot water, the glass of wine in her hand. What kind of day was this? Was this real? The thought of waking up to it just being a dream hurt. She took a sip of wine and when the rim of the glass touched her lips, she thought about Anne having been in this same tub. The thought became intensely erotic. She swallowed her wine and tried to shake the feelings. It was absurd. She continued her bath trying to forget the previous thoughts.

Anne finished her diary entry and shut her book. Running her hands over the worn, familiar leather she looked around. Why was she here? Why did the fear of the unknown leave her? She felt like she for once in her life, fit in. She walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Charlotte are you okay?” she asked, opening up the crack of the door slowly.

Charlotte looked over as she was at the sink, having finished dressing and was brushing her hair.

“I'm fine, thanks. You?” she asked.

Anne walked in and took the brush from Charlotte and began to brush her hair for her. Starting from the bottom to avoid any tangles. It was slow and gentle.

“I truly can't thank you enough for this. I don't know what I would have done had no one come to my rescue.” Anne told her, running her fingers through her hair as she brushed the long brown curls.

Charlotte smiled, allowing herself to enjoy the moment as if it was completely normal.

“Thank you for rescuing me.” Charlotte responded.

“I don't know what I would have done today had you not been there. I still don't understand it and I know you don't either, but I am truly grateful that this has happened.”

Charlotte turned around and faced her and without thinking, wrapped her arms around her and embraced her into a hug.

Anne responded with wrapping her arms around Charlotte.

Charlotte noticed a small yawn from Anne a moment later and pulled away.

“I think it is time for bed. You can have my room and I can take the couch.” she told her.

“Oh no I couldn't do that.” Anne responded.

“No I insist.” Charlotte said.

“Well, is there room for two in your bed?” Anne asked.

Charlotte smiled.

“Yes, there is. Come on.”

She escorted her to the bedroom.

“Lights!” Anne said with a laugh before Charlotte could even turn it on.

Charlotte looked back at her and laughed. She was better than could have ever imagined. She walked over to the bed and pulled the covers back.

Anne went to the other side of the bed and climbed in.

“I am glad to see that even beds have improved significantly with time.” she commented, smiling.

Charlotte nodded in agreement, returning the smile.

“I am picky when it comes to my bed.” she said, slipping in next to her.

“Sweet dreams, Anne.” she told her.

“Sweet dreams to you too, Charlotte.” Anne responded, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.


	3. Breakfast for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Charlotte begin the new days journey.

Charlotte turned over and stretched before slowly opening her eyes. Once her eyes focused she saw the handsome brunette looking over at her, smiling. 

"Good morning." Anne said warmly.   
She was sat up in the bed, reading one of the books Charlotte had on the bedside table.   
"I hope I didn't wake you." she continued.

Charlotte shook her head as she sat up in the bed. It really wasn't a dream.   
"Not at all. How long have you been awake?" she asked. 

Anne looked at her pocket watch.   
"About an hour, not too long. It was nice to see the sunrise from your window. You have a lovely view here."

Charlotte smiled. It wasn't the first time Anne reminded her of some of the things she took for granted.   
"You could have woken me. I wouldn't have minded."

Anne shook her head.  
"Oh no. You looked much too peaceful, I wouldn't dare."

Charlotte blushed.   
"You must be hungry. How about some breakfast?" she asked.

Anne nodded as she closed the book.   
"I think that would do us both well." 

They both climbed out of bed and towards the kitchen.

"Coffee or tea?" Charlotte asked as she opened up the cabinet where she kept her mugs. She eyed her favorite mug. The one with a diary entry in crypthand printed on it. A gift she could never part with. She shoved it to the back to grab a plain black one. 

"I'll have a coffee, thank you." Anne responded.   
She hated not being familiar with anything because it was not like her to be waited on.

Anne watched Charlotte closely as she turned on the coffee machine. It made a loud noise and lit up. Charlotte popped in a small white container, closed the lid and as soon as she pressed the button the coffee began to pour out on it's own.   
"I can't believe my eyes!" She exclaimed as Charlotte brought the cup to her. 

Charlotte gave a little laugh.   
"And to think this is something I don't think I could ever live without! Cream and sugar?" She asked. 

Anne nodded.   
"Sugar, please."

Charlotte brought over a container of sugar and a spoon.   
"Just pour the amount you want." she advised. 

As Anne prepared her coffee, Charlotte opened the fridge and grabbed a small bottle of Coca-Cola, twisted the top and took a sip. However unhealthy, it tasted perfect.   
Anne looked up at her.

"What is that you're drinking?" She asked curiously. 

Charlotte swallowed and handed it to Anne.  
"It's called Coca-Cola. It's a cold, sweet drink."  
Anne took it and looked at it. The smell made her nose feel ticklish. 

"It has tiny bubbles." She remarked before taking a sip. 

Charlotte couldn't help but be amused. Nevermind the fact that it would be a lot for both of them to attempt the slightest adjustment for Anne, this was a moment of enjoyment.  
She took another sip before handing it back to Charlotte.

"It's really sweet! Good, but sweet." she responded before going back to her coffee.   
Charlotte smiled at her. Her mind still unable to process all that had happened. She took a sip from the bottle before placing it down. 

"So for breakfast. Do you want an omelet? Pancakes? Waffles?"" Charlotte began to rattle off. 

"Oh I had the most delicious waffles when I was in Belgium a few years ago! It was when I was on my way to hike in the Pyrenees! I still remember them! - That's not to put down yours though!"

Charlotte gave a small laugh.  
"Belgium, August 1829." She thought to herself. She must be careful not to let it be known that she knows just about everything.  
"Well, I do believe you're in for a treat because this exact recipe has been in my family since 1825! - Which I suppose is not a long time for you." she remarked, her face growing red. 

Anne smiled at her as she took another sip of her coffee. Charlotte got so easily embarrassed. An over thinker. She found it adorable. 

"Can I do anything to help?" she asked. 

"Sure! I'll grab the ingredients and you can help me mix." Charlotte said. 

Anne set her coffee down as Charlotte pulled out the waffle iron. Anne watched her. Charlotte looked over at Anne, seeing her eyes. 

"This is a waffle iron. You plug it in the wall outlet here. Electricity helps it to heat up quickly so you can make the waffles."

Charlotte gave a small sigh, rubbing her forehead as Anne nodded.   
"It's okay to ask questions and remind me to explain. I just am so used to all of this I don't think to expl.."

Anne stopped her, placing her hand on Charlotte's arm, lowering it.  
"Please don't stress over me. It really is okay." Anne said, reassuringly.   
"If I can handle Europe on my own, surely I can handle a waffle iron!"

Charlotte took a breathe and smiled at her. Those eyes were mesmerizing. She had to force herself to look away. She grabbed the eggs, flour, milk, sugar, salt and baking powder. Charlotte set them on the countertop before grabbing the large mixing bowl and measuring spoons and and old, yellowed paper with the recipe. 

"Alright, I'll let you measure and pour into the mixing bowl. I always start with the flour, followed by the eggs. It's how I was taught."

"That must be a special thing. Carrying on a tradition for so long." Anne commented as she began to measure the ingredients from the recipe. 

"It is. It began with my great great grandmother. There are a few different stories of how she came to have it. One story is that her first love made them for her. Another is that she kept it tucked away in her clothes when they left Germany. I like to think it's both stories blended together. More romantic that way." Charlotte surprised herself, she never even told her ex girlfriend that story.

"I think the two stories put together is beautiful." Anne responded as she finished pouring in the ingredients. "You're lucky. All I have is Shibden. It has been in our family for some time, but it's so run down and practically a farm. I'm afraid there isn't much saving."

"Oh don't say that! Shibden is absolutely gor- I mean I bet it is a gorgeous place, rich in history." Charlotte hoped she covered herself well. It was too easy, to familiar to play stranger to it all. 

Anne smiled and touched her cheek for a brief moment.   
"You're sweet. If only you could see it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else." she responded then looking back at the recipe.   
"Okay it says to mix this. We need a large wooden spoon."

Charlotte shook her head.   
"I did change it up a bit. With the times and all. Just put the bowl on this little stand and pull this lever down. When you're ready you'll press this button here, it will mix it for you...I know. Fascinating." she responded with a laugh. 

Anne laughed right along with her.   
"I can't remember the last time I've laughed this often." she said.  
Anne did as she was told and pushed the button fearlessly.   
"Voila!" she boasted. 

Charlotte gave a clap.  
"Well done! We will give it a few more minutes and then turn it off and then lift the head up." She said pointing to it.

Anne nodded, looking at the bowl. 

"Okay it's done. Go ahead." Charlotte said a few minutes later. 

Anne, forgetting to turn the mixer off first, lifted the head. Batter splattered everywhere, including all over them. 

"No no no!" Charlotte said hurriedly as she moved over and put the head back down and then turned the machine off.

"I sincerely apologize!" Anne said, wiping the batter off of her face. "I didn't.."

Charlotte shook her head, grabbing 2 towels.   
"It's okay, it's okay. It could have happened to anyone." she responded, handing Anne a towel and looking at her reassuringly. 

They both began to wipe off their face, and arms. Charlotte looked around at the kitchen coated in the waffle batter. She broke out into laughter. Of all the things to happen. Anne looked at her then around the room and laughed with her. 

"This is quite a mess I've made." she said before looking back at Charlotte.  
"Oh, here you've missed a spot." Anne commented, using her fingers to wipe away a spot in Charlotte's cheek that she missed. 

They made eye contact and held their views there. Locked. Anne leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Charlotte's lips.   
Charlotte returned the kiss with a soft moan. It was warm, delicious and arousing. Reality suddenly hit her and she pulled away, startled. 

"I..I'm sor.." Anne began. 

Charlotte shook her head.  
"Excuse me." she responded before quickly exiting the kitchen to the bedroom and shutting the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to end it with a cliffhanger ;)


	4. Don't Go

Charlotte paced back in forth in her bedroom, then stopped in front of her mirror. She stared at her reflection, heart beating quickly.

“What the FUCK are you doing?!” she whispered harshly.

How did this happen? It felt so wonderful, natural, but this could screw absolutely everything up!

Panic arose inside of her and she ran to her bookshelf, her fingers flowing across the row of books until she found one of the diaries. She snatched it from the shelf, and quickly began to flip through it. Could this have changed anything? Did Anne mention this? Her eyes examined the pages, nothing in plain or crypthand. Nothing. She closed the book, and breathed a sigh of relief. Charlotte grabbed the other volume, and placed both books in the underneath papers in bottom dresser drawer. Shutting the drawer, she bit her bottom lip letting her mind flash back to the kiss. It was something she wanted to do again. She craved the taste and the touch. It was possible, right there in front of her, but at what cost? This could change so much and in the end affect her.

Anne stood in the kitchen, stunned. What just happened? She thought for a moment about going after Charlotte, but thought it best to give her space. Anne walked to the sink and turned the water on. There wasn't a second thought about not having to fetch water, she just wet the towel in her hand and began to wipe up the batter. Perhaps it may be best she go. Location wasn't important right now, she had imposed far too long.

After the kitchen was cleaned up, Anne walked down the hall to the bedroom. She stopped at the shut door, took a breath and then knocked.

“Charlotte?”

She took the initiative to open the door and walked in, looking around.

“Charlotte?” she repeated.

Anne noticed Charlotte on the floor by the dresser and walked over, kneeling down.

“Are you okay?” she asked, moving the hair away from Charlotte's face.

Charlotte wiped her eyes, quickly, embarrassed to have been caught crying.

“I'm sorry.” she said, looking up at Anne.

“I didn't mean to..”

Anne shook her head, cutting her off.

“No, no I sought a moment that was entirely not proper. I apologize, Charlotte. Truly. It won't happen again. I'll just change my clothes and I'll see myself out.”

Charlotte's eyes widened and grabbed for Anne's hand.

“What? No! No, please don't go! No, where would you even go?” she asked, getting to her feet.

Anne helped her up.

“I don't know just yet, but I have intruded on you and..”

“No, no you need to stay here. I said I would help you and I meant that. Please stay. I don't want you to leave.”

Charlotte turned away and brushed her fingers through her hair, stopping at the top of her head.

“How could I have possibly screwed this up in just a few hours? Frankie was right. I so easily mess up the simplest of things.”

“What are you talking about? Who's Frankie?” Anne asked moving herself to the other side of Charlotte to face her.

“Frankie..my fiance, the one that got married. She said I was a pro at screwing things up. This is just another to add to the list.”

Anne cupped her hand under Charlotte's chin.

“She's wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. I should have known better. It just felt..”

“Right.” Charlotte finished her sentence.

Anne looked in her eyes, letting go of her chin.

“Right.” she repeated.

“Please, stay.” Charlotte protested quietly.

Anne thought for a moment and then nodded her head.

“Alright, but promise me you will tell me if my being here is too much.”

Charlotte shook her head.

“Impossible.” she responded, looking in her eyes.

This felt right. It wasn't because she knew of Anne already. This felt like it was meant to be.

“How about we finish breakfast and then we go out for some air. Perhaps get you some clothes.” Charlotte suggested.

Anne smiled at her.

“That sounds like a wonderful plan.” Anne said.

  
  


After breakfast, Charlotte grabbed a shirt, hoodie and a pair of jeans for Anne from the pile of Frankie's clothes that she never parted with. She handed the clothes to Anne.

“I know this is different and I don't even know if it will even be comfortable but it'll will help you blend in for now. We will find whatever suits you today.”

Anne took the clothes from Charlotte.

“Thank you, I'm sure these will do just fine.” she smiled and gave a wink to Charlotte before walking into the bathroom to change.

That smile and wink made Charlotte go weak in the knees.

She put on her favorite beige sweater, jeans and wrapped a crimson scarf around her neck.

Anne walked out a few moments later and Charlotte looked up.

Anne looked at her and did a confident spin.

“Well? Do I look modern?” she asked with a laugh.

Charlotte stood up and walked over.

“I think you look perfect. Comfortable.” she responded with a smile, adjusting the hoodie.

The low ponytail was an added bonus.

“That is a lovely scarf. The shade of red is striking.” Anne commented, touching the edge of it.

Charlotte took her hand.

“Come on, time to see how we get around with out horse and carriage.” she said, leading Anne to her garage.

Anne grinned widely when she saw the black car. She walked around it, examining everything she could get her eyes on.

“So this is a...black carriage?”

“It is called a car. It is a type of vehicle. It takes fuel to run. It goes a lot faster than what you're used to. There will be dozens of different types you'll see when we are out and about, but I promise you'll be safe.”

Charlotte walked over to the passenger side and opened up Anne's door.

Anne got in and looked around. There were no words in her vocabulary to describe the inside. The leather seats were quite comfortable, the front of the car was something she couldn't even begin to imagine.

Charlotte got in and buckled up, showing Anne how to do hers. She started the engine and then looked at Anne to make sure she was okay. Carefully, she backed out and drove off slowly.

Anne had a grin on her face that couldn't be wiped away.

Charlotte sped up to keep with the flow of traffic. She felt Anne grab her hand, she returned the hold with a tender squeeze.

“Breathe. You're safe I promise. You'll begin to feel comfortable with the speed in no time.” Charlotte reassured her.

Anne nodded and looked around at the view zooming past her faster than she had ever experienced before. So many different vehicles of different sizes, shapes and colours. Shades she had never seen before.

When they got to a red light, Anne adjusted the temperature of the inside of the car to keep them warm. She turned on the heated seats. Deciding against turning on the radio.

“Oh I pray I never have to get back in a damn carriage again!” Anne exclaimed, almost completely out of character.

Charlotte gave a laugh. She felt pieces of her heart healing on the inside.

The car came to a stop in the parking spot and Charlotte got out. She went over and opened Anne's door for her. Anne stepped out and placed a hand on Charlotte's shoulder to gain her balance.

Charlotte looked at her with a nod but couldn't help but think to herself "Must be my driving."

“There are dozens of shops here, you can try on whatever you like so you know what you'd like to have.”

Anne smiled at her “I will find a way to pay you back. I can't believe I came all this way and not a shilling on me!”

Charlotte shook her head “No. No this is my treat, please.”

She had a gentle spirit that Anne admired. Very selfless and giving without expecting anything in return.

They walked into the first shop. There were walls loaded with denim and racks with a varieties of shirts. They bought a few pairs of jeans and lounge wear, a few black shirts. Charlotte knew Anne's signature colour was black, but she snuck in a few different colours into the purchase. They continued on to the next couple of shops. Anne found a leather coat that Charlotte couldn't keep her eyes off of when Anne modeled it for her. Her reflection in the mirror was the most handsome woman she had ever seen.

The next shop was a men's clothing store. Anne looked in through the window.

“Let's go in.” Charlotte suggested.

Anne shook her head.

“No. I need to blend in.”

Charlotte took her hand.

“Just be you. It's okay I promise. People are more open minded. If they say anything well I have a few words to say back and then we will take our business elsewhere.”

Anne looked at her. Charlotte was very outspoken. Was this the norm for women? To finally openly speak their mind and be heard?

They walked in together and a man in a nice, tailored suit greeted them. Charlotte took the lead and explained that they were just looking but if they needed anything they would ask for him. He gave them his card and said to ask for Sam.

Anne looked around at the vast array of suits and tuxes. Naturally, she gravitated to the black.

“You know, they can measure you and have whatever you want tailored to fit you properly.” Charlotte mentioned.

Anne stared at a black tux and nodded.

Charlotte smiled at her, she was free to wear what she wanted, without others seeing her as different.

Sam took Anne into a dressing room with Charlotte and took her measurements. He didn't ask questions or make Anne feel shamed for being their. This was a first. She really did not know what to think about it.

A while later they walked out with a black suit and a black tux and matching shoes.

It was already mid afternoon and they stopped to grab a bite to eat at a nearby cafe.

Anne though nervous, was more relaxed and even took the opportunity to order for herself. Charlotte beamed at her.

“Well hey stranger!” a familiar voice said from behind them.

It was Charlotte's friend Hannah. Walking over and hugging Charlotte.

Charlotte smiled and stood up to continue hugging her.

“Hannah! Oh it's so good to see you!”

“And you! You look beautiful. I love the scarf.” Hannah responded, touching the scarf like Anne did earlier before moving her hand to move Charlotte's hair behind her ear.

“How are you, love?” she asked.

Their phone call after Frankie's wedding was brief and she was worried about her.

“I'm good. Really good actually.” she responded smiling.

Anne watched them. A twinge of jealousy overcame her but she dare not let it show on her face.

“Hannah, I would like for you to meet my friend, Anne. Anne this is my dear friend Hannah.”

Anne extended her hand.

“It's nice to meet you, Anne. What a beautiful accent! Where are you from?”

Charlotte attempted to jump in but not in time.

“Halifax.” she responded.

“Oh Halifax! That's a beautiful place I've always wanted to visit Shib-”

Charlotte jumped in quickly.

“Hannah we were just about to eat. How about I call you later sweetheart when we have more time to talk?” her eyes pleading her to shut up.

Hannah looked at her, surprised.

“Al- alright. It was nice meeting you, Anne. She hugged Charlotte and kissed her cheek before walking off.

Anne grimaced at the kiss on the cheek.

Charlotte caught her look.

“It's not what it looks like, she is just a close friend.”

Anne looked up at her.

“I'm sorry.” she said shaking her head.

“Not my place anyways. She seems lovely.” she responded smiling.

Charlotte took her hand. Was she feeling something?

"Honest. We are just friends. I went to school with her and her wife."

Anne looked around when Charlotte said 'wife', but no one looked up at them or made a comment. This really was okay now.

After they finished their meal, Charlotte took Anne's hand.

“Come on! We only have a few minutes!”

Anne got up with her, puzzled.

“A few minutes till what?” she asked, following her to the car and getting in.

Charlotte drove off and sped up a bit.

“Where are we going?” Anne asked.

Charlotte didn't say anything just kept driving until she pulled up to a spot with no other cars.

“Look.”

Anne looked out and saw the sun lowering ever so slowly amongst the pink and purple sky.

“Oh!” Anne responded, taking in a breath.

Charlotte got out of the car, Anne watched and then followed her. They sat on the hood of the car.

“I like to come out here on nights like this. The sky is a beautiful canvas. The quietness. It feels like this is my own special place. I- I've never showed anyone else this place before.”

Anne looked over at her. She so badly wanted to lean in and kiss her, but she held back.

Together they both watched the sun set in silence.

Charlotte gave a slight shiver then felt Anne wrap her arm around her snuggly. It was perfect. Charlotte looked back at Anne and caught her gaze.

She couldn't screw this up, but for a change she felt she deserved to be happy.

She leaned in and placed her lips gently on Anne's. Anne pulled away.

“Are you sure?” she whispered.

Charlotte nodded.

“Yes.” she responded before placing her lips back on Anne's.

Anne embraced the kiss and pulled her close. The kiss, gentle at first, grew more intense.

Charlotte opened her eyes and pulled away.

“Don't go back.” she said breathless. “Don't leave me.”

Anne looked in her eyes and moved the stray hairs from her face.

“I'll stay as long as you'll have me.” she responded before returning to their kiss.


	5. Grubbling? You Should Be So Lucky!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions.

It had been one full week since Anne walked literally into Charlotte's life. They had spent it exploring the town, going for drives and dipping Anne's toes into modern water bit by bit. Other days were spent lounging at the house. Anne would read while Charlotte wrote. It took a bit of courage on Charlotte's doing, but she let Anne proof read her recent pages.   
They had just finished supper when Anne walked into the room carrying two glasses of wine. She handed one to Charlotte.  
Charlotte took it and looked up at her.   
"A toast. To an incredible week with a lovely woman who let me into her life, for which I will be forever grateful." Anne said before they clinked their glasses and took a sip.  
"It's already been a week. It feels as if it's been a few hours yet also years at the same time, if that makes any sense." Charlotte commented.   
Anne nodded her head and set her glass down on the table.   
"I know exactly what you mean. I feel I can breathe here, like I was meant to be here."

"Knock knock!" Hannah said walking in, a bottle of rum in her hand.   
"It's time for some low pony and Sophie Rundle's.."   
She stopped when seeing Charlotte and Anne sitting with a bottle of wine.   
They both quickly stood up.   
"Hannah! What are you doing here?" Charlotte asked nervously.   
Hannah looked at her confused.   
"What do you mean? It's Sunday night! Last week was the first time we have ever missed 'Shibd-'"  
"Oh! Is it Sunday already? This week has gone by so fast." Charlotte attempted to exclaim calmly.   
"Excuse me, Charlotte, if you have plans I can keep myself busy. You and..Hannah obviously have something to do."  
Anne eyed Hannah for a moment. She wasn't sure about the girl. There was definitely more to the story between her and Charlotte.   
"No don't be silly, Anne! Hannah, can I speak to you for a moment?" She asked, grabbing Hannah's hand before any response and led her to her bedroom and shut the door.

"What the hell is going on, Charlotte? You haven't called in a week, you brush me off at the cafe and you act surprised that I came over to drink and listen to Shibden After Dark with you! I get this Anne chick must be a new piece of ass to keep you company but come on! Throwing me to the side just like that? After everything we've been through?" 

Charlotte glared at Hannah.   
"Don't say that! I-I have been through a lot this week. I know you're my best friend and I go to you for everything and this is no excuse but...sit down."

Hannah sat on the bed and looked at her.   
"Well?"

Charlotte took a deep breath and began to pace. 

"Cut the pacing shit, you know how that annoys me!" Hannah snapped. 

"Would you give me a damn minute to get my thoughts together of how to tell you that's not just anyone out there in my living room!"

She sighed and sat down next to Hannah. 

"I was at the park last Sunday, writing. Remember? I had canceled everything because I didn't know how to deal with Frankie's wedding. I was just sitting there on the bench, I had writer's block and I was just getting overwhelmed with everything going on that day. Then a lady practically appeared out of no where! She was asking for help, said she was lost and that she wanted to go home. It was Anne. She said she had no idea how she got here. All she could explain was that she was from Halifax, she lived at a place called Shibden Hall, the year was 1831..and her name is Anne Lister.."

Hannah broke out into hysterical laughing  
"You had me worried for a second!" she responded still laughing.

"Hannah I'm serious!" Charlotte spoke firmly and grabbed her phone opening up a photo she took of them together.   
"Look at her."  
She stood up and grabbed Anne's cane beginning to twirl it.  
"..and if that doesn't convince you!" 

Hannah shook her head laughing.  
"You can't really believe that the woman out there is a two hundred and something year old Anne Lister! What is she back from the dead to warn you of bad love mistakes?"

Charlotte sighed. She should have known to think Hannah would believe her. She hardly believed it herself up until they kissed during the sunset earlier in the week. She looked at the bedside table on Anne's side. Should she? She didn't have any right to. It would make Hannah believe her though. She walked over and grabbed Anne's diary and pocket watch and handed it to Hannah. 

Hannah looked at the initials AL on the gold cover of the pocket watch. She shook her head again then flipped through the pages of the diary. Pages and pages of crypthand. You could smell the ink. The smudges were real. She looked up at Charlotte.

"This has to be a really well played joke, Lottie."  
She only ever called Charlotte by her pet name when she became protective of her. Was this real? Was someone playing a cruel trick on her friend?

"This is real. She has told me stuff that I never knew. Stuff not in the diaries. She talked about what happened in Hastings."

"Ho- how is she here, Lottie? Why?"

Charlotte sat back down next to her.   
"I don't know, I dont know why or for how long. But I'm enjoying it..."

"Does she know anything? The diaries? The show? Anything?

Charlotte shook her head.   
"No. It's difficult enough helping her adjust to present day, how on earth would I explain 'Oh by the way your diaries were published for all to read - crypthand included, a tv show was made about you and practically ever lesbian known to man idolizes you or wishes they could sleep with you?' I mean you yourself have that tattoo on your arm that means I Rise Above It!"

Hannah took her hand.   
"Lottie.." she sighed not knowing how to ask the next question.   
"Have you...you know..."  
"Have I what? Spit it out!" Charlotte demanded, fully frustrated.  
"Have you two slept together? You know..'right middle finger up queer.'"  
Charlotte stood up quickly.   
"NO!" she shouted.   
"Okay, calm down. Don't jump down my throat because I asked. You would have asked the same." Hannah said affirmingly. 

Charlotte looked away and took a deep breath.   
"We...we did..have kissed..a few times..a lot of times."

"Charlotte Calhoun!" 

"What? Just a second ago you wondered if we were freaking grubbling!"

Hannah smiled. 

"Grubbling? You should be so lucky. Anyways you do realize it could change the course of history if you do? And remember there will be one after you. You're just going to be one in a long line of Anne Lister's lovers. So it's not like she would ever fall in love and marry you. That's for Ann Walker to do."

Charlotte paled. She felt sick to her stomach. This week she hadn't thought once of the reality of Ann Walker still coming into the picture. For her to walk in, Charlotte would have to step out. 

Hannah watched her.

"Oh Lottie, no. No don't tell me you're falling for her. She doesn't love you. She can't. She goes for what she wants in the moment. I admire the woman as much as the next person but facts are facts. You've read the diary entries enough to know that. You're just the one available."

"Charlotte bit her lip hard trying to fight back emotions. She knew deep down Hannah was right but it was too late. She was falling in love. She bit her lip so hard it began to bleed. Charlotte began to shake. 

Hannah noticed her shaking and quickly walked over and cradled Charlotte gently sitting her down. She held her tight as Charlotte began to cry. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door. 

"Charlotte, is everything alright?"

They looked at one another. Hannah opened the door a crack. 

"Yeah she'll be right out in a moment." She said to Anne.

She admired this woman as much as Charlotte but in this moment she was defensive of protecting her friend's heart. She had seen her go through too many heart breaks. 

Anne looked past Hannah's head and saw Charlotte's red, tear stained face.

"What's the matter?" Anne asked, her concern raising. "Charlotte?"

"Nothing. I have it under control. She will be right out." Hannah said before shutting and locking the door. 

She walked back over and held Charlotte.

"What do I do? I love her, Hannah. I've never loved anyone like this before. I know i sound crazy. Am crazy. But it is how I feel."

"I don't know. I honestly dont have an answer. We don't know why she is here. Why she chose you basically. I just don't want you getting hurt." Hannah responded, rubbing her back as the tears began to ease. 

A little while later Hannah walked out to the living room to see Anne meddling with the knick knacks to keep herself busy.

"She'll be out in a moment. I'll just be on my way home. Tell her to call me if she needs anything." Hannah said. 

Anne walked over to her.   
"What happened in there? Why was she crying?"

Hannah sighed.   
"Anne, I know we don't know one another, but as Lottie's friend, do not hurt her. Don't play games. She has a heart and it's been broken far too many times. Don't put her in a long line of past lovers."

Hannah walked out.

Anne ran to the bedroom door and opened it, rushing to Charlotte.

"Are you alright? What happened? What did she do to make you cry? Your lip is bleeding!" Anne asked, wiping a few tears that escaped Charlotte's green eyes. She grabbed a tissue to place on Charlotte's lip. 

Charlotte shook her head, moving away from Anne's touch as she wiped away her own tears.   
"Nothing. I'm okay." She responded coldly.   
She felt herself shutting down. It was her defense tactic to avoid anymore arrows to her heart. 

"Don't lie to me. Talk to me Charlotte. Did I do something? Was it me? Did I overstep by being here when you had an engagement with Hannah?"

Charlotte shook her head again and went to her mirror to fix her face and hair.   
"It's not you. Please let's drop it."

"Then why did she tell me not to hurt you. To not put you in a long line of past lovers? What does that mean?"

Charlotte didn't respond. How do you tell someone you love that you're not the one meant for them even though you so badly want to be.

"Charlotte answer me! I have opened up to you so much in just a few days. The least you can do it answer me!" There was a slight crack in Anne's voice. 

"Did I do something? Tell me so I can fix this between us."

"Am I just a quick fuck to you? Because I'm here. I'm available to you at the present moment?" Charlotte asked turning to Anne.

They hadn't slept with one another but the thought crossed both of their minds on more than one occasion. The door was open to it happening. 

Anne's jaw dropped.   
"A quick fuck? Is that what you just asked me?" She asked walking over to Charlotte.  
"Of course not! What did Hannah say to you to implant that into your mind?!"

Without thinking Charlotte opened her mouth.   
"I'm certainly not your first and I'd never be able to hold a candle to Marianna or Mrs. Barlow!" She stopped. Her eyes wide. She just exposed that she knew the truth. 

Anne took a shocked step back and looked at her "Excuse me?"


	6. The Moment of Truth

Anne stared at her with confusion and a hint of fear.

“I told you about the women in my life, but I never gave you their names. How did you their names? Were you looking in..no-no that's impossible.” she said shaking her head.

Charlotte's mind raced. This will cause Anne to panic. This would cost her her friendship with Anne. This would damage everything.

“How did you know their names, Charlotte?” Anne repeated.

Charlotte looked at her then at her bedside table. The truth hidden at the bottom drawer.

“Anne I – I don't know how to start. Please don't hate me.”

She walked over to the bedside table, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the two books.

She turned back and faced Anne who was watching her.

“What are those?” Anne asked, the nervousness in her voice apparent.

Charlotte let out a breath she didn't even realize she had been holding the whole time.

“I know their names, because...your diaries were never destroyed after you passed. In fact they were discovered by a relative. John Lister.” 

Charlotte paused, watching Anne's body language to see how to word the rest of the facts.

“He and a friend found them and they..” Charlotte's voice grew shaky. This was it. 

“They what?” Anne asked anxiously.

Charlotte swallowed hard.

“They cracked the code, Anne. The crypthand.”

Anne began to breathe heavy. 

“The...the..they know what I wrote?” she asked.

Charlotte nodded.

“Yes. It was suggested that they destroy them but your relative, John chose to hide them in the walls of Shibden Hall instead.”

Anne took a seat in the chair near the window, her heart was racing and she felt like her knees were about to let go.

“Many years later they were discovered again. This time a woman named Helena Whitbread cracked the code. Not long after the diaries were published. She felt that it was important that your voice was heard. Many people have read them and it's helped them come to terms with being gay or to better understand the history of what women have had to endure to get to where we are now.”

Charlotte walked over and handed her copies of the diaries to Anne.

“Please, Anne don't hate me. I'm-I'm so sorry.”

Anne snatched them from her hands and flipped through the pages. Every secret printed in plain English before her eyes.

She said nothing as Charlotte observed her.

Anne began ripping the pages out of the book in a rage.

“No, Anne! Don't!” Charlotte pleaded, trying to take the book out of Anne's hand but the bits of paged were already falling to the floor.

Anne stood up as Charlotte knelt down to grab the pages.

“No one had any right to read what I wrote!” she shouted.

“These are MY words, MY feelings, MY secrets! You nor anyone else has any right to invade my privacy!”

Charlotte looked up at her. There was anger burning on her face mixed with hot tears. She dropped the pages and went to take her hand.

Anne flung her hand away. 

“How dare you! You knew who I was the whole time! You took me in without letting me know any of this! You have made a fool out of me and for what? For your own selfish amusement? I wish I had never laid eyes on you!” 

Anne threw the remainder of the book across the room and walked out, slamming the door.

Charlotte took in a sharp breath. She stood there, paralyzed. Those last words stabbed her with a pain she had never felt before. Her mental defense mechanisms made her wish she had never met Anne, never gone to the park. Her life would be normal. The pain overtook the thoughts. She took the strength she had left in her to pick up the pages. She gathered the pieces in a pile. Then she saw it. Part of the front page with that familiar handwriting. She picked it up with shaking hands.

_ My beautiful bride to be, _

_ As you read the pages of this diary, think of me. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Francesca  _

Charlotte sat there and put a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound as she wept. Why did Anne show up? Why did she have to slip up? Damn these diaries having been discovered in the first place. 

An hour or so had passed when Charlotte found the strength to get up and walk out the room. She needed to check on Anne and to apologize.

“Anne.” she said walking into the living room.

The room was empty.

“Anne?” she asked a little more frantic as she ran into the kitchen that was also empty.

“Anne!” Charlotte shouted as she ran outside, the cold concrete meeting her bare feet.

Anne was no where to be found.

Charlotte ran back inside and grabbed her phone and then stopped realizing there was no number to call her. Her hands shook as she dialed Hannah's number.

“Hannah? Anne's gone!” she said as tears began to escape again.

“Gone? What do you mean gone? What happened?” Hannah asked.

“I mean she is gone! I slipped up. I said more than I should have. Anne demanded that I explain, and I had no choice but to show her the diaries.”

“Oh, Lottie, you didn't!” Hannah said, grabbing her car keys.

“It was too late to change what I said, Hannah. There was no way to fix it! She wasn't supposed to find out this way. She left the house and I have no idea where she went.”

“How long ago did she leave?” Hannah asked, getting into her car and driving towards Charlotte's house.

Charlotte heard the car and knew instantly that Hannah was on her way over. 

“I don't know. I was in my room for a while. I fell apart.”

Hannah sighed softly. She had seen that scene a time or two with Charlotte. She was the reason it happened the first time.

“What did she do, Charlotte?” she asked.

“What anyone else would do. She flipped out. She ripped up my copy of the first volume. The one Frankie bought me. The one that she had gotten Helena Whitbread to sign. She hollered that I had no right to invade her privacy. She said she wished she-she had never laid eyes on me.” Charlotte responded, her cry growing stronger.  


Hannah bit her lip. That had to hurt deep. “I'm so sorry, Lottie. Perhaps had I not gone over earlier this could have all been avoided. She couldn't have gone far. This is a small town and she is walking.”

“I should have been upfront with her. I just figured being here is shocking and difficult enough." Charlotte said.

“No, I don't think anyone would have said it forthright. Anne does have a point to be upset. I mean when you think about it, would you want people 200 years from now reading about your sexual escapades? However if it was never published, we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have the knowledge that we do. Whether she decides to take that into consideration will be up to her.” Hannah said as she continued driving.

“Listen, Lottie. Where were some of the places you two went this week? Maybe if I drove around and looked in those places I may be able to find her.”

“Well we met at the park down the road. Um...the-the cafe. We went to the museum, the shopping center but that's all closed by now. I took her to a little place I discovered a while back. A little unnamed road past Marseille Boulevard. It's the one with the grape vines and goes to no where.”

“Okay, I'll go check those areas. Keep your phone on you and call me if you hear anything or she returns. I'm going to find her, Lottie. I promise.” Hannah said, though she wasn't very convincing. 

“Thank you, Hannah.” she said clearing her throat and hanging up.

She walked back to her bedroom and to grab her coat in case she needed to leave. She picked up her coat off the seat of her chair and there sat Anne's pocket watch. Anne couldn't have left for good, surely.

Hannah drove around. She started at the park but there was no one around. She stepped out of the car to check the park benches but they were empty. Hannah got back into the car and continued to drive. Different scenarios played out in her mind of where Anne could be, and what she would say to her when she found her. She stopped by the cafe and picked up a coffee while she was out. Anne was not inside or anywhere near the cafe. The shops were empty of anyone around. She decided to go to the spot Charlotte had told her about. She drove down the road slowly, it was dark and narrow. She put her window down. 

“Anne!” she hollered. 

There was no response, but she continued driving further down the road until she got to the end.

“Anne!” she hollered again, getting out of the car. 

The view of the sky was beautiful. There were no city lights around and there were too many stars to count.

“Anne Lister! It's Hannah, Charlotte's friend. If you're out here, please tell me! We are worried!”

She was met with silence.

Hannah got back into the car and started the engine. She backed up and turned the car around. The lights caught a shadow and Hannah stopped the car again. Quickly, she turned her bright lights onto the shadow and saw the figure of a person. It was Anne.

Hannah put the car in park and got out.

“Anne, please! I know you're angry but please answer me. We are worried about you, Charlotte is heartbroken! It's not safe for you to be out here alone!”

Hannah walked over and met Anne's eyes.

“Anne..” she said offering her hand. 

“Can we talk?” she asked.

Anne looked at her. Her eyes bloodshot from tears and anger.

“I know that you're angry. You have every right to be. I couldn't imagine finding out people knew my deepest secrets. It is shocking and exposing.” she began.

“It's a lot more than that! Charlotte knew! She knew and didn't tell me! I refuse to allow people into my life that treat me as such!”

Hannah sighed and nodded.

“I understand and I agree with you that you shouldn't have dishonest people in your life, Anne. How was she to tell you? Charlotte was scared to tell you because she imagined it being difficult enough trying to adjust to a world that you know absolutely nothing about! Yes, she knew. I knew. A lot of people know and are still discovering. I know that for you right this minute your privacy is stolen. I don't expect you to be happy about this. But, I ask you to please just for a moment, listen.”

Anne looked at her.

“Look, it is cold, please come sit in the car with me where we can warm up. I promise not to drive off unless you say so.” Hannah asked. 

Anne sighed. She was freezing and it was too dark for her liking, though it hid her emotions that she didn't want anyone to see. She decided to forgo her pride and walked to the car with Hannah and got in.

Hannah turned the heat up a bit to get them comfortable.

“Your words, Anne, all of the wisdom you recorded of your thoughts, opinions, feelings have helped many of us, myself included in finding ourselves as lesbians. You became a voice for us in a way. We are still fighting for rights. We still don't have equality just because we are women. You were determined to be seen as equal and fight the injustice you were given because you are a woman and also because you love women! My wife actually told her parents she was attracted to women after reading your diary. It has saved those who think they are in some way damaged! I wish you could hear the stories from the women you have helped in one way or another! Hell, Anne, there are women, women besides Charlotte that wish it was possible to receive your love! To know what it's like to know you outside of the words of your diaries, even to kiss you! Women fawn over you even though you lived over 200 years ago.” Hannah stopped. She was letting out too much too fast and with too much passion which she found could scare people away. It did with Lottie when they attempted to have a relationship.

Anne swallowed hard. Was it possible that this was true?

“I- I don't know what to say this is quite overwhelming to say the least. Don't get me wrong it is flattering, though it feels rather undeserving. I just feel so exposed. You all know more about me than I'd ever tell anyone. I understand that my life would be considered normal in this day and age, but it is not at all what I am used to. You do not reveal your whole life to others.”

Hannah nodded.

“I get it. I am sorry that is happened without your permission. Honestly many have wondered of what your opinion would be. They would hope you would not have a negative opinion, but it is understandable. Though it is said and done, I do hope you'll find a way to accept it, because of all the good it has done. You are a voice, Anne. Your name alone is a powerful one that many recognize and admire.”

“I'm just a woman who wrote out my feelings on empty pages. No one has married me for it.” Anne replied and then began to laugh.

“Now, isn't that something. I can't find someone to be with me in my own time and now I am here and there are women galore!”

Hannah bit her lip. Ann Walker wasn't ready in Anne's time yet. Her heart wanted to burst to tell her, but then there was Charlotte.

“Well, as much as I hate to admit it and hear myself say this, you have a woman in this time that is heartbroken over you, Anne Lister.”

Anne bit her lip.

“Charlotte” she whispered.

Hannah nodded her head. 

“As much as I don't want you two together because you could disappear without warning and it would leave her heartbroken, and as much as I don't want to swallow any jealousy because the woman I still have feelings for is head over heels in love with you, she needs you, Anne.”

Anne took her hand.

“I knew there was something between the two of you. I could feel it that day at the cafe....do you really believe she loves me?”

Hannah gave a quick laugh. 

“Without a shadow of a doubt. I hate it with a passion, but that's my own cross to bear.”

“Take me to her, please.” Anne pleaded.

Hannah nodded and drove off quickly.

It didn't take them long to arrive back at Charlotte's house. Anne looked at Hannah, nervously. 

“How mad do you think she is?” she asked.

Hannah shook her head. 

“She isn't mad at all, Anne. She's hurt that she hurt you and worries that she lost you. The only thing besides that is the diary you ripped up. I get why you did it, but that was a gift from Frankie. She had Helena, the one who translated the code sign it. It was very special to her, but I'll get her another one...if that's okay with you of course.”

Anne's eyes filled with compassion and regret. She had no idea and wished she could take it back. Surely it was something that wasn't easily replaced.

Hannah looked at her.

“Don't fret. It'll be okay.” she said opening the front door.

“Lottie!” she said as they walked in.

“Charlotte?” Anne said following her in.

They looked around and Hannah led Anne to Charlotte's bedroom.

Hannah opened the door.

“Lottie, it's me...”

Anne walked in behind her and saw Charlotte curled up in bed sobbing uncontrollably, grasping the pocket watch.

“Charlotte...” Anne said softly, going to the bed.

Charlotte looked up, her eyes widened, she quickly sat up and grabbed on to Anne holding her tight.

Anne held her back just as tight.

“I'm so sorry!” she cried in pain but also in relief that Anne returned to her.

“Shh, Charlotte. I'm sorry. I went off in a rage and you didn't deserve any of that. I sincerely apologize. I am so glad that our paths crossed, Charlotte!” she said before kissing every inch of her face.

“I'll never read the diaries again, I swear. I'll forget everything inside of it!”

“No, no, listen to me.” Anne said, cupping her hands under Charlotte's chin.

“Hannah explained it all to me. It's alright. It's alright. It will take some time to get used to, but don't apologize, please. I'm sorry I ripped them up. I'll get you a new one, I promise.”

Charlotte looked over at Hannah, who nodded her head with a smile before quietly walking out of the room to go home.

Her gaze turned back to Anne who leaned in to embrace her in a kiss.

Charlotte returned the kiss warmly, pulling Anne into the bed with her.

Anne lay in bed with Charlotte, moving her hand when she felt something hard under her hip. She grabbed it and held it up. The faces of both women reflecting in the gold of Anne's pocket watch.

“It's all I had left of you.” Charlotte responded, wiping the remaining tears that were escaping.

Anne bit her lip then turned her face to Charlotte.

“You don't need the pocket watch, darling. You have me.” Anne said before setting the pocket watch down and returned to kissing Charlotte.

Charlotte deepened the kiss, her hands moving to tug on Anne's shirt.

Anne put her hand on top Charlotte's and pulled away.

“I want our time to be special. Not filled with tear stains and the remaining embers of heartache.”

Charlotte shook her head.

“You're here with me now. What more could I desire? I need you, Anne.”

Anne eyed her up and down before resuming their kiss and allowing them to get to know each other more intimately.   



	7. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex. Just sex. Short and sweet ;)

Anne opened her eyes as she felt Charlotte get out of bed. The vision of her naked silhouette lit by the sunshine in coming through the curtains filled Anne with desire all over again. Anne got up and walked up behind her, kissing her neck.  
Charlotte responded with a moan, tilting her head back as the touch of Anne's warm lips, and brief brush of her tongue sent a warm sensation down her body.  
“Good morning to you too, Miss Lister.” she responded, turning to face Anne and kissed her lips.  
Anne pulled her close. “What do you think you're doing up out of bed?” she asked, kissing her again. Her hands wandering all over Charlotte's body. It hadn't occurred to her until last night that a woman could opt to have a hairless queer and that drove her mad with passion.  
Charlotte caught her breath before she could respond as she felt Anne's fingers traveling down. There was a welcomed control Anne had over her as she was led back to the bed.  
“I believe I asked you a question.” Anne repeated, as she laid Charlotte down. Leaning over her, she began placing kisses on her breasts.  
Charlotte grasped Anne's back with her hand as she felt Anne's tongue swirl around her nipples.  
“I was..getting..my..” was all she could manage to get out as Anne's hands moved up and down her inner thigh, her lips sucking stronger, driving her crazy.  
Anne lifted her mouth “Getting your what?” she asked before biting down on her nipple the same moment her middle finger met her clit.  
Charlotte moaned loudly as her back lifted off the bed. Her hands reaching up to Anne's hair, entangling themselves in the strands.  
Anne tried to hide a proud smile. She still hadn't received an answer, and she found in this moment amusing to tease the girl. She released Charlotte's nipple and removed her finger, lifting her eyes to meet hers.  
“I can wait until you answer, but clearly you can't.” she said, biting her bottom lip and raising one eyebrow. Anne knew full well even her facial expressions had power over Charlotte.  
“My robe.” Charlotte answered desperately.  
Anne nodded. “Clearly something completely unnecessary.” as she placed her lips on top of Charlotte's kissing her hungrily.   
Charlotte returned the kiss just as passionately. Their tongues danced with each other. Anne's taste was delicious and she craved more of it. She knew Anne wouldn't take her boxers off, but she couldn't help but move her hands down to them. She wanted them off, she needed to feel her.  
Anne moved Charlotte's hand back up as she moved her own body back down, kissing and sucking on Charlotte's breast. She was always the one in control in the bedroom. Modern day or not, it wasn't going to change things.  
Anne's fingers felt the pool of wetness inside Charlotte's folds. She was more than invited inside of her. Charlotte opened her legs wider, letting Anne gain easier access. First one finger inside, then two.   
Charlotte's body moved in motion with Anne's fingers moving in and out of her. She felt the fingers curl inside of her, and her thumb circling her clit.   
“Anne” she moaned, breathless.  
Anne's lips traveled down from her breast to her navel, giving soft kisses while her fingers kept Charlotte in ecstasy.  
Noticing she was close to orgasm, Anne moved down between her legs and placed her mouth on her. The warmth of her tongue meeting her sex made Charlotte's moans grow louder. Anne held her hips down as she tasted her orgasm, swallowing every bit that she gave her.  
Charlotte lost control as she came. Anne continued kissing and softly sucking her during the aftershocks.

Anne came up and pulled Charlotte close to her as she began to settle, her chest moving up and down as she tried to regain composer.  
“Now, again do you really need that robe?” Anne asked. “Hmm?” a proud smile across her face.  
Charlotte shook her head. “What robe?” she asked with a slight laugh. She couldn't remember the last time she came that strong.   
“You practically hypnotize me, Anne. One kiss and I have no control over anything.”  
“That's not a bad thing, surely.” Anne responded.  
“Absolutely not! You just have a way of taking me to this far off place and knowing every part of me.”  
“Well, you give yourself for me to read. I quite enjoy it myself. Good morning, by the way, Charlotte.” Anne replied with a wink.


	8. What Shall I Call You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Anne have a deep conversation, and an unexpected visitor arrives.

Anne stared at the opened cupboard in the kitchen. She was making coffee for the both of them.  
“Perhaps you'll be coming back with me, to Shibden.” she stated.  
Charlotte who was pulling cinnamon rolls out of the oven looked over at her.  
“Meaning going back to your time? I don't think that's possible, Anne.”  
“Well,” Anne began, grabbing a coffee mug with a diary entry printed on it. “according to what you have here, this says that in October you ask me to stay all night, but what are we waiting six months for?” she asked.  
Charlotte quickly set down the pan of cinnamon rolls and walked over, taking the mug from her and looking at it. She had put it all the way in the back of the cupboard that she forgot she even had it since Anne arrived.  
“This...this isn't about me, Anne.” Charlotte felt a lump in her throat. She loved the love story between Anne Lister and Ann Walker, but she never imagined she would feel jealous over Ann Walker.  
“Then who is it about?” Anne asked, looking into Charlotte's eyes. She could see pain.  
Charlotte sighed heavily and put the mug back where it was and shut the door.  
“It's about someone else.” she responded.  
“Well, obviously, but who? If I'm here with you and that entry is not about you then who? Why would that even be on such a thing?”  
She couldn't just go and tell her everything. She knew first off that it could affect what Anne does when or if she does return. Second, she frankly just did not want to talk about it. It was suddenly painful to even think not just of having to lose Anne, but to know she would be in the arms of Ann Walker.  
“Charlotte, please talk to me.” Anne reached out for her hand.  
“I've told you before that if I tell you what happens that it can alter what is meant to be. You'll find out soon enough.” she responded, clearing her throat.  
“I want to see that thing where that woman pretends to be me. On that whatever you call it that you can see and hear.”  
“Television. And no, you're not going to watch 'Gentleman Jack'. Why do you want to risk ruining your future happiness?”  
“Well, surely that person doesn't make me as happy as you do.”  
Charlotte shook her head.  
“Please, stop. I don't want to talk about this. I selfishly want to keep you for as long as I possibly can, Anne. Please.”  
“What if I see it and decide that that isn't what I want? Hmm? Why shouldn't I have that choice since it is my own life after all.”  
“Anne, please! I am asking you to just let it be!” Charlotte's voice raised.  
Anne took a breath.  
“So everyone besides me can freely read or watch the going ons of my life. You can have it displayed on coffee mugs or tshirts or in books for the world to be entertained by and I have no control over any of it. My own life, I have zero control over right now!”  
“You said when you came back that it was okay...” Charlotte looked at her.  
“Well, perhaps it's not! Perhaps I am not okay with it. What would you do if you ended up in some place where your whole life was in display for the world? I thought I was okay with it, Charlotte but right now I am not.”  
“I would feel upset and overwhelmed. I know this isn't easy for you, Anne but you are asking me to just let you see what happens and regardless if you like the result or not it could change everything.”  
“But our being together isn't changing anything? Hmm?”  
“I don't know. I thought it would, but when I look at my copy of the second volume of the diary there is not a word changed. Nothing about me is in there, nothing about you coming here. There is nothing so I don't know if this is truly changing anything or not.”  
Anne sat down at the table.  
“Look, Charlotte, I'm not mad at you, love. In fact it is rather nice to have someone want to protect me for a change. I just get this burst of emotion from time to time about this. All of this from being here in a strange time to seeing my secrets in full view. One moment I am fine, and the next when I see something at ridiculous as a coffee mug I suddenly am not.”  
Charlotte walked over and took a seat next to her. “I wish I could shield it all from you, Anne. I wish that you were always here in this time, I could forgo the show and the books, but then how selfish does that make me when there are so many out there who need to hear your voice?”  
“So, people who see this what did you call it, 'show'? They talk to one another about it?”  
Charlotte nodded. “Yes they discuss the show, the diary entries, the events of your life. They find connections with their own lives or it gives them the courage to accept themselves for loving other women. It encourages them to be daring and to rise above the opinions of this world. It helps us to understand ourselves better and to see just how far we have come as a society in accepting that this is okay.”  
Anne nodded "It's still not easy to accept, but perhaps in time.”  
“You know, Anne, sometimes it is okay to not be okay. I know you say you are always alright, but you're human. If this is too much for you it is okay to walk away from it whether that means going back, or just taking a walk on your own. I will give you your space.”  
“I don't want to go back, Charlotte.” she responded, touching Charlotte's chin with a smile.  
“However, I do think a nice walk might do me some good. It will help me sort my head out.” she said standing up.  
“I promise to be back.”  
Charlotte stood up and gave her a kiss.  
“I'll be here.” she responded.

Charlotte went to her office to continue writing out the chapter she was working on while Anne was gone. She let herself get lost in the story that she was writing in order not to lose herself in everything that had been going on. Anne gave her plenty of inspiration to add to the ending of the book. She would be sending this chapter to her editor by the end of the day.

The doorbell rang. Charlotte got up. She hadn't locked the door so Anne could come right on in. She went to the door and opened it.

“Hello, gorgeous.”  
“Franky! What are you doing here?” Charlotte looked stunned.  
“Can't I come for a visit or is that now no longer allowed?” she asked with the same mischievous smile Charlotte used to fall for.  
“Of course...of course, come on in.” she said, holding the door open further for her to walk through.  
“How are you, Charlie?” she asked looking around the house. Nothing had changed.  
“I'm doing good...great actually.” How are you? How is married life?” she asked, the last question being a hard pill to swallow.  
“Oh, you know. Typical newly wedded bliss. I was just on this side of town so I thought I would pop over and see how you were.” she looked at Charlotte. She knew her marriage had hurt her, but she couldn't settle down with a woman. Her family would not have it. The financial security she would have lost had she stayed with Charlotte would have caused her to struggle.  
“Have a seat. Would you like some coffee? I think I still have your favorite blend somewhere.”  
Franky smiled. “I'm forever a dark roast, gal. Let me come help. Is that faucet still leaking?”  
“No, it has been fixed for a while now.” she responded setting down two mugs and grabbing the coffee.  
“Hey, no Anne Lister mug anymore? Don't tell me it finally had it's final day in the dishwasher.” Franky said.  
Charlotte looked at her. “Oh no, no it's in the cupboard.”  
Franky went and exchanged them.  
“I still think they should have made one with one of the more juicy entries.” she said.  
Charlotte grabbed both of them and poured the coffee once it was brewed.  
“Could you imagine someone finding out what it meant and you're sat there in a meeting drinking out of it?” she asked laughing.  
Franky laughed along with her.  
“I'd probably be fired on the spot but it would be worth it!”  
"Do you remember when I got this for you?"   
Charlotte smiled, remembering. "Of course I do. One of the best Birthday celebrations I ever had."   
"And that celebration continued till the early morning between you and me " Franky said, reminding her of that night.   
Charlotte found herself smiling. "Yes, it sure did!"   
It felt like old times suddenly. Charlotte felt that familiar comfort once again.  
They sat down at the kitchen table and each took a few sips, quietly.  
“Congratulations, by the way. I don't think I ever told you.” Charlotte said.  
Franky smiled at her and took her hand.  
“I wish you would have been able to be there, Charlie.”  
She shook her head.  
“You know that it would have hurt too much.” she responded quietly.  
Franky sighed softly.  
“I know. I'm sorry. I wish I could have the best of both worlds.” she replied, taking another sip.  
“I did see you come out of the church.”  
Franky looked at her. “Did you now?”  
Charlotte nodded. “I heard the church bells. I ran outside and looked across the way and saw the two of you coming out of the church doors onto the steps.”  
Franky squeezed her hand. “I wish it was you.” she said.  
Charlotte's heart began to race. There was no more to them as a couple, but she had wished the same in the moment she saw her in her wedding dress.  
“Me too.” she said, taking a long sip of coffee, swallowing the lump in her throat.  
“Charlotte you'll never guess how long it took me to walk from th...” Anne stopped mid word as she saw Charlotte at the kitchen table with another woman.  
“Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize you were receiving company.” she stated, seeing the woman holding Charlotte's hand. Who was she and why was she holding the hand of the woman that belonged to her?  
Charlotte stood up quickly.  
“Anne! You're back! This is Franky. She was just on this side of town and decided to come over for a visit. Franky, this is Anne my...my friend.”  
Anne looked at her, then saw the damned mug in Franky's hand. In her fashion she turned on her charm with a smile and extended her hand.  
“Very nice to meet you, Franky. Charlotte's told me about you.” she said, side eyeing Charlotte.  
Charlotte watched the two of them, nervously. Should she have said girlfriend?  
Franky stood up and shook Anne's hand.  
“Likewise, Anne. That's a nice leather jacket, you've got! I don't go anywhere without mine.”  
Anne nodded. “Yeah, it is...” as she took hers off and set it on the back of the chair.  
Charlotte quickly grabbed another mug.  
“Anne would you like a cup?” she asked.  
“Sure, that would be great.” she said putting a smile on her face. It wasn't the usual flirtatious one that Charlotte recognized. She sat down and took her coffee from Charlotte.  
Charlotte sat back down.  
“So, Charlie I was thinking. James had to go out of town on business for a few days. Is it okay if I crash here? You know I don't like staying alone. I still have some of my stuff here, don't I? It could be like old times.”  
Anne's eyes widened. Did this woman dare ask to spend the night right in front of her?  
Charlotte looked at Anne and saw her reaction, then looked at Franky.  
“Franky, I don't think that will be such a good idea.” she said to her.  
“Oh, why not, Charlie? Come one it will only be a for a few days and I'll be out of your hair. You know I can't sleep alone.”  
Anne looked at the both of them. The jealousy inside her wanted to explode. She was now just a friend, and an old flame wanted to waltz right back in?  
Charlotte reached for Anne's hand.  
“Because, you're married now. Also, Anne is staying here with me.”  
Franky turned and looked at Anne then back at Charlotte.  
“Staying as in the guest bedroom or staying as is in our...your, your bed?”  
“In mine and Anne's bed.” she said, looking back at Anne to see her response.  
Anne's facial demeanor softened when she heard her say those words.  
“Oh, well alright then.” Franky said, standing to her feet.  
“I didn't realize you moved on so quickly.”  
“Quickly? Franky, you went off and got married to someone else. How is it me that has moved on so quickly?”  
She shook her head. “Look, Charlie, I figured there could still be something between us. I mean you invited me in, didn't you?”  
“Yes, as a friend, Francesca!”  
Franky looked at her. “Don't call me that! You know I hate being called that!”  
Anne stood up.  
“Perhaps it is best that you go home now.” she told Franky.  
Franky looked at Charlotte, walked over and kissed her on the lips.  
Charlotte pulled away, quickly.  
"Excuse me?!" Anne shouted, baffled that this would even happen.  
“When whatever this is is over, don't you dare think of calling me in the middle of the night. I came back here in need of not being alone and this is how you treat me?”  
“I won't be calling, Franky. Now, leave our home.” she demanded.  
Franky grabbed her jacket and looked at Anne.  
“You won't last long. I'm the one who still has her heart and I have no desire to be giving it back any time soon.” she said before walking out the door.  
Anne looked at Charlotte when the door shut.  
“Are you okay?” she asked, not sure if she should pull her close or let her be.  
Charlotte nodded. “Yeah. I am. I think...no I know that I am no longer in love with her.”  
Anne nodded slowly.  
“Well, that is good.” she said.  
Charlotte walked over to Anne and put her arms around her.  
"I can't get over the fact that she felt it was okay to kiss you, right in front of me!"  
Charlotte shook her head. "I can't either. I'm sorry. I am sorry I introduced you as a friend. I froze and for a split second I wasn't sure what we were. But, I do know that I love you, Anne Lister.”  
Anne moved a piece of hair from in front of Charlotte's face and smiled at her.  
“I love you, too.” she responded.  
“I do have a question. Hannah calls your Lottie and Franky calls you Charlie. What shall I get to call you?” she asked.  
Charlotte smiled. “Yours?”  
A grin appeared across Anne's face.  
“That sounds perfect to me.” she responded, placing a kiss on her lover's soft lips.  
Charlotte kissed her back deeply.  
"You know you're kind of sexy when you're jealous." she stated.  
Anne's eyebrow lifted.  
"Oh really? Well, let me show you jealous, then." she said, lifting Charlotte up and placing her on top of the kitchen table.


	9. Take Me Back to Shibden

December has arrived, marking one full month since Anne literally walked into Charlotte's life. Anne nor Charlotte knew how long she would be here, but as the days grew longer they thought less and less of it, both secretly hoping this could be what was meant to be. Christmas decorations began popping up around the town. Anne took notice rather quickly of how different it was than what she was used to. The quiet, reserved day was now filled with characters, music and traditions she was alien to. Charlotte convinced her to go with her to buy a Christmas tree from the tree lot. Anne told Charlotte stories of how her family celebrated by mainly going to church. Charlotte explained to Anne the traditions her family has kept through the years, both having the same focal point of the day.

Anne handed a decoration to Charlotte who was on a ladder to place on the tree.   
“This is a gorgeous one!” she exclaimed, noticing the intricate features.  
“Thank you, it's a favorite of mine. I purchased it at a Christmas Market in Heidelberg, Germany a few years back.” she responded, reaching for the blown glass ornament of Santa in a sleigh when it slipped from her fingers to the ground, shattering.  
“No!” Charlotte exclaimed, but it was too late.  
Anne looked at Charlotte's face and immediately knelt down to begin picking up the pieces.  
“Charlotte, I'm so sorry, my darling.”  
With a heavy sigh, Charlotte climbed down the ladder and began to also pick up the pieces.  
“It's my fault, it just slipped out of my fingers.”  
Anne gently took the pieces from Charlotte's hand.  
“I'll pick up the mess, I don't want you cutting yourself on the sharp edges. I'll get you a new one. I know it won't be the same but surely we can find one just as beautiful, if not more.” responded Anne trying to find a way to fix the situation.  
Looking up, Charlotte revealed a small smile.  
“No, but thank you. I know you don't enjoy the crazy Christmas crowd, and like I said, this wasn't you're fault.”  
Anne nodded before standing up to throw the pieces away.   
“For you, I would gladly be a part of it.”  
Charlotte's smile grew a bit more.  
“Well then, let me grab our coats!” she said before rushing off to the bedroom.  
Anne smiled while watching her. The future was fast-paced, hectic and overwhelming, but Charlotte made a way for it all to slow down.  
Charlotte came back and wrapped Anne's scarf around her neck.  
“Thank you for this. Not the ornament but, sticking around I mean. I forget at times to stop and think if you're even happy here. Surely there are times you'd prefer to be home.”  
Anne put her hands on top of Charlotte's and leaned in giving her a soft kiss on her lips.  
“Yes, I do miss my life in my time. I wish daily that I could tell my Aunt Anne all about what is happening. But you have been so patient with me, and have helped me to some what adjust as best I can in a short amount of time. I owe you more than my gratitude, Charlotte.”

Charlotte leaned in for another kiss. She could never get enough of the taste of Anne's kisses.  
“We could easily just stay home and make love by the tree.” she responded, biting her bottom lip.

Anne's eyes burned with lust.  
“Yes we could, but you told me that it is supposed to snow soon, so why not go pick out the ornament...” Anne leaned into Charlotte's ear and whispered ...”and then we can come home and I can ravish you.”  
Anne's hot breath and powerful tone made Charlotte go weak in the knees and unable to utter any response.  
Anne took her hand to lead her out of the house, but Charlotte tugged back and kissed Anne passionately.  
“Don't make me wait.” she said, taking off her coat and kissing her again.  
Without breaking the kiss, Anne quickly tugged off her scarf and pulled off her coat.  
She laid Charlotte by the tree, her hands already wandering over Charlotte's body, unbuttoning her top.  
Anne's warm tongue flicked Charlotte's nipple. A quiet moan was let out. Anne could read her like a book, she knew she could make her orgasm without even touching her, though she would never deny herself the pleasure of enjoying her.  
Unbuttoning the jeans, Anne slipped them down, then using her teeth she latched on to the side of her thong and pulled it down. Her sweet smell arousing Anne even more.   
“Anne, I need you!”  
Anne placed soft kisses on her thighs as she traveled back up.  
“Do you now?” she asked, before returning to kissing her hips, her hands making their way back up to Charlotte's breasts.  
Charlotte moved her body underneath Anne to try to show her she needed her lips to be lower.  
“Anne..” she whimpered.  
She could feel those familiar lips turn up into a smile. The teasing was killing her.  
Anne stopped kissing and looked up at her, before grabbing her and rolling them over so Charlotte was on top.  
“Let me enjoy your taste and the view all at once.” Anne said.  
Charlotte grinned as Anne held her waist and lowered her down.  
Both let out a moan of sheer pleasure.  
Anne found her clit with ease and flicked her tongue up and down on it.   
Charlotte's moans grew louder.  
“Miss Lister...” was all she could get out. She knew that was one thing that drove Anne crazy. The name gave Anne power.  
Anne's tongue found it's way into the wet, warm entrance. Deeper she went.  
It didn't take long for Charlotte to completely come undone. Anne placed her hands on Charlotte's hips, holding her down as she came strongly. Tasting ever last drop, Anne wouldn't let her go, despite feeling her body bucking with each lick that sent shock waves through her entire body.  
Anne released her and Charlotte lay on top of her, both of them trying to catch their breath.

“What were we supposed to be doing again?” Anne asked   
Charlotte looked up at her.  
“This.” she responded which a glowing smile.  
Anne wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

A little later they ventured out to find an ornament to replace the one that was broken. They found a small vendor with unique pieces. Anne watched Charlotte pick over each other with delight.  
“This one!” Charlotte exclaimed.  
Anne looked at it.  
“That has nothing to do with Christmas or Saint Nicholas.” she responded.  
“It's perfect.” Charlotte insisted.  
All Anne could do was smile. She didn't understand it, but it brought happiness to the woman she loved.   
They purchased it, and the vendor placed glass top hat ornament in the bag for them.

It began to snow on their way home and by the time they arrived it was getting heavier.  
Once inside, Charlotte took the ornament out of the bag and handed it to Anne.  
“I want you to hang this one, darling.” she said.  
Anne smiled at her.   
“What's the story behind this?” she asked, taking the ornament and gently hanging it on a tree branch.  
Charlotte looked at her.   
“I know you don't wear one, but it is used as an important symbol when talking about you.” she explained.  
Anne looked back at her.  
“I can't say that that's a bad idea, really.” she responded.  
Charlotte gave her a kiss.  
“How about a shower and then we can make a nice soup together?” she asked  
“I'll do you one better. You go shower and I'll begin the soup. I think I'm finally getting a hang of the kitchen.” Anne said.  
Charlotte smiled widely. Anne had learned a lot in such a short time.  
“I'll come in and help when I'm done.” she told her.

After the shower, Charlotte came into the kitchen.  
“It smells delicious already!”  
Anne looked back at her with a proud look on her face.  
“You would think anything less?” she laughed.  
Charlotte walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around Anne's waist.  
“From you? Never!” she grinned and looked out the window. The snow was really falling hard and fast.  
“I think this is my favorite room in the house, besides our bed of course.” Anne said.  
“It suites you, love.”  
Suddenly the room went black.  
Charlotte sighed “I'll go check the breaker box.” she grabbed her phone and turned on her flashlight.   
She returned a minute late.   
“Power is out.” she said, going to the front door and looked out the glass. “The whole street is out.”  
“Do you have any candles?” Anne asked.  
Charlotte went to the hall closet and brought out a few of them. She grabbed the matches and lit a long candlestick. She went to go light the others with but Anne stopped her.  
“Let me.” she insisted, grabbing the lit candle stick and using it to light the other candles.  
Charlotte watched her for a moment. Anne was suddenly in her element. She went to get the rest of the candles and brought them back to her.  
They set the candles around the kitchen so they could see. Anne went back to the stove and continued with the soup, turning the fire down to let it simmer.  
She turned back and looked at Charlotte. “We're going to be just fine.” she assured her.  
Anne didn't have to say anything, Charlotte could tell Anne had a comfortableness about her. She was a different type of relaxed.  
“Would you grab the bowls, love?” Anne asked.  
Charlotte grabbed them and began to set the table.  
“I hope this comes out as good as it smells.” Anne stated.  
Charlotte looked back at her.  
“We both know it will be delicious.” she said reassuringly.  
Anne fixed both of their bowls and they sat together at the kitchen table, lit by candle light. It was so quiet, and a nice feeling of peace. It was as if the whole world had disappeared, leaving just the two of them.  
“This must be a bit like what it is like back at Shibden.” Charlotte mentioned.  
A smile appeared on Anne's face, just at the name of her home.  
“Yes, it is. It's all there is, but it's so nice. I wish to take you there someday. Some way.”   
“I would love to be able to visit with you and to hear all of the lovely stories you have of it. This soup is absolutely delicious!”  
Anne took a spoonful of the soup. She did quite a good job on it if she did say so herself.  
“So, having known about me, you haven't taken a trip there? You said it was still there, right?”  
Charlotte nodded. “Yes, it's still there. Though no one lives there. It receives many visitors. I just have not yet had the chance to go.”  
“Well we must find a way to get both of us there, won't we?” Anne replied with a look of happiness Charlotte hadn't seen before.  
“Absolutely, love.” she responded.  
“I'm going to go put another log on the fire before it gets cold in here.” Anne said before getting up and going into the living room.  
Charlotte watched as Anne added another log to the fire. The growing flames brightened Anne's face, making it most attractive. It was obvious that she finally felt at home.  
After dinner they moved some candles into the bedroom. Anne picked up her diary and began to write of the days events. Charlotte grabbed a book but couldn't help watching Anne. Moments like this caused her to truly realize that Anne Lister was right in front of her.  
She sat in bed with Anne and opened her book.

The next morning Charlotte awoke alone. She reached for her phone and noticed it was dead. Suddenly she remembered that the power had gone out. Getting up, she picked up her robe and walked out the room. She saw Anne tending the fire.  
“Power is still out.” she said, walking over to her.  
Anne looked back and smiled.  
“I know. I was just making sure we stayed warm until it returns.  
Charlotte placed a kiss on her lover's lips. This was something that would ever get old.  
“Did you sleep well?” she asked  
Charlotte smiled. “I am always well when you're with me.”  
Anne gave a small laugh and kissed her again.  
“How about we go back to the bedroom and find a way to keep warm?” she said, a devilish look in her eyes.  
Charlotte bit her bottom lip.  
“You don't ever have to ask me twice!” she said taking Anne's hand.  
As they went down the hallway the power came back on.  
“Oh finally!” Charlotte said before looking at Anne. The look of disappointment evident.  
Charlotte went and turned off every light that had come back on.  
Anne looked at her when she returned.  
“What are you doing?” she asked her.  
“Take me to Shibden, 1831.” she responded, leading Anne to their bedroom and shutting the door.


	10. A Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter devoted to sex. It doesn't affect the plot so if this isn't your tea then no worries! If it is, then by all means enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Mae for the one line of inspiration!

Anne opened the bathroom door and saw Charlotte's silhouette through the shower glass door that was fogging up. Biting her lip she watched as the water rushed down her body. Lost in thought she didn't notice Charlotte caught her staring.  
“Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to finally join me, Miss Lister?” Charlotte asked.  
This was one thing they hadn't done together. Charlotte always gave Anne her privacy knowing that she didn't fully unclothe in front of anyone. It never occurred to Anne to get in with her.  
Anne thought for a moment before getting undressed and opening the door to the walk in shower. It was large in here by herself but it was perfect with the two of them together.  
Charlotte turned around and looked at her, keeping her eyes locked on Anne's. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, Charlotte moved so Anne could get in the water.  
The look on her face when the hot water hit her body sent shivers down Charlotte's spine. She moved closer to her and placed her hand on Anne's cheek, making Anne look at her. She leaned in and kissed her, the hot water falling on and in between their bodies. Charlotte put her hands around Anne's waist, making sure not to travel too far down. She wanted her though, there was no doubt about it.  
Anne pulled away and looked at her, breathlessly.  
“Have you ever been with anyone in here?” she asked  
“It is alright if you have, I was just curious. Understandably it is none of my business to begin with but just feel that..”  
Charlotte stopped her by placing a finger on her lips.  
“I haven't. I have wanted to, yes but it never happened. So enough with the jealousy. You may think you hide it well but you don't. You need to learn to control that.”  
Anne looked at her.  
“Learn to control my jealousy? If anyone needs to learn control it's you, my dear. You talk a quite too much in my opinion” she said firmly, biting her bottom lip again.  
Charlotte smiled at her. Did she really want to go toe to toe right now?  
“I am not one to be controlled. You should know that by now. I can't be controlled or tamed.”  
Anne grabbed her and pushed her against the shower wall, both of her arms held tight against the fiberglass.  
“There you go again. Always getting the last word in. You know there is a cure for that.”  
Charlotte could feel herself getting wet. How far could Anne, would Anne go?  
“A cure for what, Anne?” she replied with an devious smile.  
“A cure for making you keep your pretty mouth shut.” Anne replied before kissing Charlotte forcefully.  
Charlotte moaned loudly as Anne's tongue delve inside of her mouth, kissing her harder.  
Releasing one arm so Charlotte could wrap it around her waist for balance, Anne took Charlotte's hair, wrapped it around her hand and gave it a good tug.  
“I thought I said to keep your pretty mouth shut. That means complete silence.”  
Charlotte's heart began to race, her wetness dripping down her thighs.  
“And don't make me remind you that it's not Anne, it's Miss Lister.”  
Charlotte nodded, excitement in her eyes but willing to obey.  
Anne kissed her lips again, leading down her neck sending shivers through Charlotte that both of them felt. She dragged her tongue down the middle of her chest. Her knees wanting to buckle from Anne's touch and not being able to make a sound. It would only grow stronger from here and that excited both of them all the more.  
Anne's mouth enveloped her breasts, sucking and nibbling on her nipples until they obeyed in staying hard. She let go of Charlotte's other hand as she kissed and nibbled down her stomach. Knowing that if she even touched her queer now she would be done. Anne kissed all the way down her legs before coming back up.  
Anne turned her around so she faced the wall. Wrapping her arm around Charlotte's waist, Anne felt for her clit. Charlotte bit her lip hard and tried to grasp on to the wall with no luck.  
“You're already soaking wet for me.” she said as she slowly rubbed it back and forth. Charlotte wouldn't last long. She was going orgasm hard and if Anne did her job just right, she would get her to squirt.  
“Get on your knees. Now.” Anne commanded her.  
This was a whole different side to Anne that Charlotte had never seen but gladly welcomed. Silently, Charlotte lowered herself to her knees.  
“That's a good girl.” Anne stated.  
Anne knelt behind her, inserting one finger inside of her. Charlotte's head felt back on to Anne's chest. The water rushing down. Her hands going anywhere should could latch on to as Anne inserted another finger. She let out a loud moan. Anne pulled her hair again.  
“Again? Wilful disobedience, Charlotte? Get on all fours.” Anne commanded, pulling out slowly to tease her more.  
Charlotte did as she was told. A moment later she felt a painful smack on her ass.  
“Count.” Anne said.  
“O..One.” she managed to get out, panting before another strike.  
“Two.”  
“Three.”  
Each spank harder than the last.  
“Four....Anne..Miss Lister, please I am going to cum right now.”  
Anne spanked her again.  
“You will cum when I tell you to. Count.”  
“Five.”  
Anne knelt back down behind Charlotte and raised her back up.  
“Let's see just how wet you are.” Anne grinned.  
Her fingers were coated in the wetness on the outside of her.   
Anne leaned in to Charlotte's ear.  
“Be a good girl and come for me.”  
Anne stuck two fingers inside her causing Charlotte to come undone, screaming through the hardest orgasm she had experienced.  
Anne held her tight as she came back down. She adjusted the water to help her body adjust back.   
“Breathe with me.” she told her, synchronizing their breathing.  
Charlotte lay back against Anne as she was held.  
Neither of them said anything, both knowing what the other was thinking.


	11. Let's Talk About Christmas 1834

“Anne are you about ready?” Charlotte asked, grabbing the car keys. 

“Yes, just need to grab my shoes. Are you sure I look oka...wow!” Anne stopped when she saw Charlotte in her red dress and heels. “You are absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on.” she said. 

Charlotte's face grew red with a smile. “Thank you. You look quite wonderful yourself!” she responded, eyeing Anne up in down in her new black suit with matching tie. 

“Are you sure that they are fine with us being...together?” 

Charlotte took her hand. “Yes I am sure. It's Christmas Eve service. I've been plenty of times and was welcomed. Besides you don't want to miss a candlelit service, it will make you feel like you're back home. Hannah and her wife Jenna will be there so we can all sit together.” 

Anne nodded, a little more relaxed before putting on her shoes. 

Once they arrived, they walked in and Anne looked around at the church. It was quaint and charming. The prayers and the hymns varied slightly from what she was accustomed to. She felt at home when the lights were turned off and everyone lit their candles. She thought about her dad, her sister and her Aunt Anne. Filled with an array of emotions, a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She was enjoying herself here. There was so much more freedom to be herself and to have a voice that others heard. There was also Charlotte. She had given her heart to her and couldn't imagine leaving her behind. It didn't take away from the fact that the life she was leading previously was not right here with her. Charlotte noticed and gently took Anne's hand and gave it a squeeze. Could she stay here forever? What could be the way for her to return to her time? She wished she could fix things for Anne to have the best of both worlds. Anne squeezed her hand back as the hymn came to an end. They blew out their candles and the congregation wished everyone a Merry Christmas. It was a beautiful night that Anne very much needed and enjoyed, as did Charlotte. Hannah offered for the four of them to go have dinner, but Charlotte knew Anne may need to talk about what had just happened. They said they would see them for Christmas lunch the next day. 

“Are you alright, love?” Charlotte answered once they got on the road. 

“I'm always alright, you know that.” Anne said reassuringly. 

Charlotte sighed softly. “Anne I noticed the tear. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling but I wish you would talk to me.” 

Anne took her hand and looked out the window. “It's just moments like tonight hit me that I'm home but I am not home. I want to share everything with my Aunt Anne. I have no way of checking in to make sure Marian is okay or even coming to some sort of understanding that they don't exist in this time. But then there is you, my dear Charlotte. You have become my whole world and I don't want to leave it. I love you, Charlotte.” 

Charlotte pulled Anne's hand up to kiss it. “I love you too. With all of my heart, Anne. If you need to go home though...I understand.” 

Anne shook her head. “No I made my decision tonight in church. I am staying here with you. This is what I want. Is this what you want?” 

Charlotte's smile grew bigger. “It's all I could have ever wanted, Anne.” 

Anne leaned forward and turned on the radio. Carols were playing. Her eyes grew big when she saw the houses lit up with all of the lights. “Charlotte!” she exclaimed. “It's beautiful isn't it?” “It is a sight to be held! Look at all of the bright colors. The homes, the trees. I've never seen anything like this.” Anne said. 

“Well let's take the long way home and enjoy the sights together.” Charlotte said, reaching for Anne's hand once more. 

The moment felt perfect for both of them. 

  


* * *

Charlotte awoke to soft kisses on her neck. She slowly opened her eyes to the very desirable Anne Lister. “Happy Christmas, my beautiful Charlotte.” she said before kissing her deeply. 

Charlotte happily returned the kiss. “Happy Christmas, Anne.” she managed to say mid kiss. “Would you like to open your gifts?” she asked Anne, very childlike. 

“You can't wait, can you?” Anne said with an amused laugh. Charlotte smiled proudly. 

“No and I know that deep down neither can you!” she responded, getting out of bed and taking Anne's hand to the living room. 

Charlotte had Anne sit down and brought her a small box. Anne took it from her and looked at it for a moment before opening it. 

“Oh, Charlotte. You shouldn't have!” Anne said as she took the new pocket watch out of the box. “This is really incredible.” she said as she opened it, noticing the inscription. _Thank you for bringing me back to life. Forever yours, Charlotte._

“I figured there was nothing wrong with owning more than one.”

Anne set it down and pulled Charlotte into her lap. “I am forever grateful that you let me into your life, darling. Why don't you go check the tree for you gift.” 

Charlotte looked at her as she got up. “Anne I told you, you didn't have to get me anything. Nothing was expected.” 

“I know. But still, go check.” 

Charlotte went to the tree but didn't see any packages with her name on them. 

“A little to your left.” Anne said.

Charlotte walked to the left of the tree. “I'm not seeing anything.” 

Anne smiled and walked up behind her. “Look up a bit.” 

Charlotte looked up and she saw it. There on one of the branches was a oval black onyx ring. She took it off the branch and looked back at Anne who was down on one knee.

“I love you, Charlotte. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you take the sacrament with me and swear oaths on the Bible on New Years Day and be my wife?”

Charlotte gasped. This was truly happening. Anne Lister was proposing to her. 

“Yes. I would be honoured to be your wife, Anne. Yes!” she responded. 

A huge smile apeared on Anne's face, the happiness evident as she slipped the ring onto Charlotte's finger. 

Standing up she pulled her into a warm kiss. “Do you mean it?” she asked, hesitant that her mind would change. 

“You have my word. I accept this more than anything, my love.” Anne kissed her again and held her tight. “I love you.” “

I love you too!” Charlotte answered looking into Anne's eyes then down to the ring. It fit her finger perfectly. A feeling inside like it was meant to be. For a moment she thought of Ann Walker but forced the thought out. Anne had asked her. 

  


  


They arrived at Hannah's house and Charlotte parked the car but didn't move.

Anne took her hand reassuringly. “If she says anything that you don't want to hear, we don't have to stay. Remember, a true friend will be happy for you, for us.” 

Charlotte nodded, letting out a heavy breath. Together they got out of the car, Charlotte grabbed the food, as Anne grabbed the gifts. Charlotte walked up to the door and knocked. She could picture it all blowing up but she refused to let it happen. Hannah wasn't going to ruin her happiness, again. Hannah opened the door. 

“Merry Christmas!” she said, taking the food from Charlotte. “Come on in! Merry Christmas, Anne.”

“Merry Christmas to you as well, Hannah.” she replied walking in after Charlotte.

“Just set the gifts down by the tree and make yourself at home!” 

Charlotte helped Anne with the gifts.

“Where is Jenna at?” Charlotte asked. 

“She took the dogs out for a quick walk but will be back soon.” Hannah replied setting the food in the kitchen then making her way back into the living room. “Have a seat you two. I'm so glad you guys could make it! The food should be done soon.” Hannah said sitting down next to them. 

Anne put her arm around Charlotte's. “Thank you for inviting us, it was very kind of you. Charlotte explained to me her family lives quite a ways away so this has become a tradition of sorts.” 

“It has. It started off with just one year and then it grew into this.” Hannah replied.

Jenna returned shortly after and they began to exchange gifts. Anne was surprised that Hannah had thought to get her a gift. 

Anne looked at the diary and pen. “This is truly thoughtful, thank you.” she said. Perhaps they would become friends. 

The Christmas dinner came and went with much laughter, wine and conversation. Hannah and Charlotte eventually made their way to the kitchen to start cleaning up.

Hannah took a moment then looked at Charlotte. “So, would you like to finally tell me about that ring on your finger?” she asked.

Charlotte looked back at her. “She....she proposed, Hannah. Anne proposed to me this morning. She had it hanging on one of the branches of the tree. I thought it was really romantic and beautiful.” she had a smile on her face and she prayed Hannah would have the same. 

“I..I am happy for you.” Hannah replied blankly. 

“Thank you, Hannah. That means a lot to have your support.” Charlotte told her. 

Anne walked into the kitchen and noticed they were discussing the ring. “We know it is not something that would excite you, but we are both very happy with one another. I love Charlotte as you already know, and she has expressed her love for me. She agreed to take the..”

“Take the sacrament with you, yeah...yeah believe me I know how this goes.” Hannah interrupted. 

“Hannah...please...” Charlotte tried to persuade her calmly to not make a show. 

“No, go on. You know how this goes, Hannah?” Hannah looked at Anne then back at Charlotte. 

“I've already said what I needed to say. Some of us just aren't so selfish that we would ruin the history of how we got to where we are today. Some of us understand that some things are not meant to be and need to accept it for the sake of history. As much as you said you admired Ann...her...as much as you have said how strong and courageous she was for all that she went through after marrying Anne Lister. You simply forget and have Anne Lister yourself! You already know that you're just one in a long line of lovers.” 

“Hannah that is enough! I will not have you talk to my wife that way! Now we are here for a civil and nice Christmas celebration and if you can't be happy for us then we don't need to be here.” Anne stated, her voice firm and commanding.

“Your wife? You wouldn't even legally be married here, Anne. Sacrament means nothing for a binding marriage. You're not supposed to be here, Anne.” She looked over at Charlotte. “You want to talk about Christmas 1834? or how about 1835, 36, 37...the ones she is to spend with her actual wife? In her time.” 

“Why is it that you and Franky can have happy relationships after breaking my heart, but I am not allowed to finally be with someone who has cared for me and loved me than the two of you combined?” Charlotte raised her voice to a level Anne hadn't heard before. “You broke my heart when you cheated on me! You didn't even bother to fix it, you just thought it best we be friends. I had to endure you dating and marrying Jenna. It was fine as long as you were happy! Now I am finally happy! I know who Anne was supposed to end up with but she is here, now, with me.” 

Hannah sighed and rubbed her head. “Lottie, can we talk privately.” she asked. Charlotte was refusing to listen to reason. Anne had no understanding of what this could change. 

“Whatever you have to say to her you can say in front of me. Last time you two were alone she was beside herself in tears.” Anne told her. 

Hannah looked at her. “Fine. Neither of you are listening to reason. Look, I know you have feelings for one another. I know you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together. What happens when Anne suddenly leaves? That's a possibility. What happens to her wife who is not yet her wife? You already know the ending, Lottie, do you want to risk that happening sooner because you chose to keep Anne for yourself? I know I made terrible mistakes in our relationship that I regret. Believe me, I will never forgive myself and though I still love you myself, I know you would never take me back, I know that. But you have to know that there is someone out there for you who is meant for you who will never hurt you. It's not Anne, it can't be Anne. Hate me all you want but you know it's the truth.” 

Charlotte tried to choke back the tears but they slipped out one after the other, faster and faster.

Hannah pulled her in for a hug. “Lottie, please. This doesn't just affect you, it affects everyone.” she said, beginning to lower her voice to a whisper. “Her heart belongs to Ann Walker. You know that she is already in love with Anne. She's waiting for her.” 

Anne interrupted them. “I think that this has gone far too long. Charlotte let's get you home, my love.”

“Lottie..” Hannah began before Anne stopped her. 

“I do believe I know what is best for my life. Charlotte knows what's best for hers. My apologies if you do not get to enthrall yourself in my private writings by me choosing her.” She put her arm around Charlotte and got her into the car and held her. 

Charlotte held on to her tightly and broke down crying in her arms. 

“Anne I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I caused all of this! Everything is ruined!” 

“Shhh no it's not. Listen to me. I love you, okay? I love you and I know that you love me. That is all we need. The past will figure itself out, it is not up to either of us to worry about anyone else's choices but our own.“ 

“Please don't leave me, Anne.” Charlotte whispered. 

“I'm not going anywhere, Charlotte. I promise you, you have my heart.” Anne lifted Charlotte's head and wiped the tears away before kissing her. “Let's get us home. I promise we are going to be okay.” 

Charlotte wiped her eyes and started up the car and headed home. Hannah's words ringing in her ears.


	12. Miss Walker, I Am So Sorry.

New Years Eve had arrived. The week arriving up to it felt strained. Charlotte had difficulty sleeping. She dreamt of Ann Walker waiting for Anne. She dreamt of her in an asylum without Anne having entered her life. Anne knew things weren't what they were but she figured she should just give Charlotte time. It's not normal to propose and be married a week later. She felt bitterness towards what Hannah said and how she treated Charlotte but it was not her place to say who should and shouldn't be in her life.

Charlotte was putting on her earrings when Anne came into the bedroom. She smiled at how beautiful she looked. Anne walked over and draped the necklace around Charlotte's neck and clasped it.

“You look so stunning, tonight my dear.” she said, placing her hand on top of Charlotte's shoulder, looking at her through the mirror.

Charlotte gave a small smile and placed her hand on top of Anne's.

“You have a way of making me feel on top of the world, Anne.”

“I only speak the truth, you know that.” Anne responded, helping Charlotte up.

“I get to see the year 2021, and I get to marry you, all in the same day. How lucky am I?”

Charlotte swallowed hard. “Ann..” she thought to herself but also not realizing she said aloud.

“Yes, my love?” Anne responded.

Charlotte looked at her realizing she had actually spoken.

“Nothing..I...I need to find my shoes.” she replied, moving away from Anne quickly to where her shoes were.

“Charlotte, you have been acting so distant all week. Is this just nerves?”

Charlotte shook her head.

“No, no I'm sorry I just...yes I guess it is nerves. Pre-wedding jitters.” she said.

Anne looked at her for a moment, then walked over to her, kneeling down.

“Charlotte you haven't been sleeping. Last night when you did fall asleep you were fighting. You...you said 'Miss Walker, I am so sorry.'”.

Charlotte quickly looked up at her, shocked.

“We..we've a party to get to it's almost 10.”

Anne grabbed her hand, she could feel it trembling.

“No, I don't care about some function when I know something is not right!”

“Anne, please.” Charlotte responded, her voice cracking. She could feel the truth coming to light for her and as much as she had put it off she knew it was all about to come to an end.

Anne could see tears welling up in her eyes and she went to brush them away. 

The touch of her fingers caused Charlotte to began to weep.

Anne held her tight, sitting down on the bed with her.

“You...can't marry me can you?” Anne asked with a shaky voice, not wanting to hear the obvious answer.

Charlotte shook her head and managed to find the courage to look up into Anne's eyes.

“I'm so sorry, Anne.”

“I want you to be my wife!” Anne replied in a whisper, not strong enough to say it louder.

“I'm not the one. As much as I want to be utterly selfish I can't!” Charlotte cried.

“No, no you can be as selfish as you want. I want you to be my wife. I know you know what those diaries say but, we..you and I together we could make a life all our own. I could still find a way to help others if that's what you're worried about, darling.”

Charlotte shook her head and stood up, facing Anne.

“The truth will haunt me, it has already begun to haunt me! I see her, I hear her and she is waiting for you, Anne! I love you with everything in me, and it is killing me right now, but this will truly change everything and how could I let that happen? I know what would happen if you didn't go back and I can't live with myself. You....you have to go back...” Charlotte bit her lip trying to hold back the tears. This was the hardest thing she had ever done in her entire life. She thought she knew heartache when Franky got married, but that was nothing compared to this.

Anne stood up and walked over and wrapped her arms around her.

“Please don't leave me, Charlotte. I love you. I'm in love with you.”

“I love you too...I'm in love with you too and that is why you have to go. You have to go back because if you don't you will miss the greatest love of your life. I am not her, Anne.” Charlotte responded pouring out every last ounce of courage in her.

"I think the reason you came here, Anne was to see that the real truth is how you live your life in your time is actually helping people later on down the road.You've been told so many lies by people who simply don't understand. Your voice matters. We need you exactly as you are. You have helped me heal and to see that I am worthy of being truly and honestly loved by someone and for that I am forever grateful.

Anne looked at her. Charlotte knew what Anne's future held. How could it be better than what she had right now?

“Can we at least have this one last night?” she asked with tears escaping.

Charlotte nodded her head. “I would really like that.”

“Let's stay here. Let's stay here and just hold one another, my love.”

Charlotte rested her head on Anne's chest and nodded again. There was nothing more that needed to be said.

The clock struck midnight, January 1, 2021. They shared a kiss and made love to one another one final time. Neither wanting to fall asleep, but eventually Charlotte drifted off. Anne held her tightly in her arms.  



	13. Fancy That, We're From the Same Tribe, You and Me

Charlotte awoke the next morning to the sun shining in the window. She rolled over and her arms reached for Anne, but there was no one. Charlotte reached her hand around once more, not daring to open her eyes.

Anne was gone.

Tears began to flow as she slowly opened her eyes to the empty side of the bed. Was this all a dream? No it was real. She shared a love story with Anne Lister. The suns rays shined on Anne's pillow. Charlotte noticed a small notebook. She grabbed it and looked at it. It didn't look familiar. She opened it and bit her lip, failing to choke back the tears.

 _Our Story_.... was written on the first page. Anne had made a diary of her time with Charlotte. This explains why the other volumes of Anne's diaries and journals remained unaltered.

Quickly, Charlotte sat up and flipped through it. Every single day was documented. From the weather, to their conversations, to each time they made love. She wanted to read it all right away, but couldn't mentally handle doing so. Charlotte lay back down and cried. She knew she had done the right thing but it hurt so damn much she didn't think she could breathe her next breath.

Later that afternoon she found the strength to get out of bed and put clothes on. She grabbed Anne's diary and went to the park. She found her bench, where she was sitting when she first met Anne. Brushing the lightly dusted snow off, she sat down. Charlotte took a deep breath, opened the diary and began to read.

Anne wrote it as a letter to Charlotte. She had detailed each meal they made, starting from the attempt to make waffles, resulting in their first kiss. Anne wrote about how safe she felt to dress the way she wanted and act as herself without anyone questioning or giving her odd looks. Anne described how she felt when she discovered her diaries were read by thousands and how she was processing the news to that. There were entries about how deep and passionately they made love to one another. Anne admitted her jealousy towards Hannah and Franky and her reasons for it. She hadn't left out any details.

Suddenly, Charlotte was taken out of their love story when a dog came running over with a ball in it's mouth, wagging snow off his tail.

She looked down at him,

“Well hello there, little guy. Where's your human?” she asked, scratching behind his ears.

“Tank! Tank!!” called out a brunette woman, running over.

“Damn it, Tank you know better than to go running off like that, you crazy ass dog!”

Charlotte looked up at her.

“Oh he is no bother, what kind of dog is he?”

“He's a beagle mix hound...that loves to run off on me, isn't that right?” the woman replied grabbing the ball from his mouth and tossing it. Tank chased after it.

“I'm sorry if he bothered you, he really is very friendly.”

“No, no it's fine. I love dogs.”

The woman looked at her and noticed her face red.

“Oh, honey what's the matter?”

Charlotte shook her head.

“Nothing, nothing just...love.” she responded, biting her bottom lip again, Damn her almost crying in front of a complete stranger.

The woman laughed and sat down next to her.

“Tell me about it. It affects us all. But, you're a strong one. You'll get through whatever it is you're going through."

"I don't feel strong at all." Charlotte replied.

"Nonesense! I know a strong person when I see it. I'm Maeve, by the way and of course you know Tank” she replied, as he came running back to her.

“I'm Charlotte. It's nice to meet you Maeve..and you too, Tank.” she said, finding herself exposing a small smile.

“You're not from around here are you?” Charlotte asked.

Maeve chuckled “Did the accent give it away?”

“What accent?” Charlotte asked amusingly.

“What are you freaking kidding me? Nah, I'm from further up North. I had been wanting to move down here for years now and I finally made it.”

“Well I sure hope the town is treating you well.” Charlotte said.

“Oh I love it down here. The food here alone was worth the move. I'm Italian, and we are particular about our food.” Maeve responded with a small laugh as she fixed her pony tail.

“You ever have days where you just want to cut your damn hair off? I just cut mine recently and already I am ready to do it again. This wind sure doesn't help.”

“Yeah, I've been there.” she said, pushing her hair back behind her ear.

Maeve noticed a delicate rainbow bracelet.

“Hey, would you lookit that.” she responding, holding out her own wrist with the matching bracelet.

“Fancy that, we're from the same tribe, you and me.”

Charlotte looked at the bracelet then up at Maeve.

“Tribe? Yeah, I suppose we are.” She had wanted to be left alone, but there was something about this woman that caused Charlotte not to tell her so. “So, you're Italian?”

“Well, Italian, Irish..hence the name. I could really go for a coffee. Do you like coffee?” Maeve asked.

“Yes.” Charlotte responded without thinking, then realizing that more than likely meant going get a coffee. She didn't have the energy to do so.

Maeve studied her for a moment.

“Look, sweets I know something's bothering you so why don't I go get us some coffee and I'll come back. If you're still here we can talk about it, and if not well then that means two coffees for me and Tank can play a little longer.”

Charlotte didn't have time to respond, as Maeve was already up and grabbing Tank's leash.

Maeve looked back at her “Love can suck, but aren't we all the more lucky to have felt it instead of never having had it? And as the wonderful Anne Lister says 'Have some courage.' am I right? There's a reason us women are the strong ones of this world.”

Charlotte's eyes grew wide. It took her a moment process, and then it dawned on her. She truly did do the right thing.

“Anne Lister definitely knows a thing or two about courage.” she responded, opening up the diary again to continue reading until Maeve returned with their coffees.

“Thank you, Anne.” she whispered.


End file.
